I was sitting outside on my back deck recently and noticed this big pot of flowers. I had planted some begonias in a big pot and it had been sitting on my front porch so far all year. It was doing alright... a handful of blooms, about half full of foliage. But about half the pot was empty. Nothing was growing there.
Then one day it hit me that maybe the flowers would prefer more shade than they get on my front porch. So I moved them to the back deck, where they are in shade most of the day. And you know what? They really took off!
Now the entire pot is filled with green foliage and there are many blooms!
I realized people are the same way. You may do "alright" in one location, at one job, in one relationship... but you may really bloom if given the best conditions for you and your individual spirit.
It's definitely true for me. I recently switched from full-time to part-time at my traditional job. And my boss even told me that the part-time position will likely be temporary, as long as they're as busy as they are now, because they don't usually carry part-time positions.
But anyway, when I was working full-time, I was doing alright. I fulfilled my obligations at my job. I worked on my novels when I could. It "worked," but at the same time I knew I wasn't being as good as I could be. I wasn't blooming as much as was possible for me to bloom.
I was short-changing my traditional job because I didn't want to be there and didn't want to be spending my time doing that. And I was short-changing my novel writing because I couldn't give it as much time as I wanted to.
Little by little I grew increasingly unhappy and discontent. I knew I had to make a change. I felt bad because I'd only had my job for about four and a half months. But still, I knew what I needed to do. And I found the courage to do it.
I went into my boss's office one day and we had a long talk. I explained how I wasn't happy and I needed to make a change. And even though the company basically never has part-time positions, she offered to let me stay on part-time, as long as they could financially support the position.
So see, sometimes things that "never" happen, DO happen. You might not expect a certain thing to go your way, or to unfold as you'd like, but you might just be surprised.
The reason I decided to stay on part-time is for the stable paycheck (albeit a small one), while I'm still building up my novel base and readership.
But now I am much happier and I'm blooming! I've noticed that story ideas for novels are overflowing in my brain right now. When I sit down to work on my current book, I can easily write 5,000 words or more in a day, if given the time. And more importantly, I feel on the right track.
How are you blooming in your life? Are the buds and flowers overflowing? Are you living up to your potential? If not, where could you make a change, however small?
Pay attention to the conditions of your life. They make a HUGE difference in the to which you soar.
May you soar to great heights and reach your highest potential!
In Peace and Love,
Sarah
I have wanted to start a blog like this for a while now but didn't know how to do it because I have no blog experience. Your post hit home. I do not feel that I have reached my full potential and feel frustrated because I don't know how to do it. I have been a teacher for 8 years. I loved my job! Now, although I still love teaching and love my students I don't feel the same joy. Does that make sense? I want to write but feel as if I don't have the imagination or talent to make it happen. I sit down to write and feel inadequate because I can't get anything on a page. Or if I do it is so flat I don't know where to go with it. I also love tea so I am thinking that I would like to open a tea shop. I believe that I could create a literary environment there that would allow me to be more creative.
ReplyDeleteHey! Thank you for reading and for the comment! I'm glad my post resonated with you!
DeleteWhat you say about loving your job and students, but not feeling the joy, I totally get it! I used to be a teacher myself (6th grade). I loved my students and certain parts of the job, but realized it wasn't what I wanted to do long-term, so I left the profession back in 2006, I think it was.
In regards to your desire to write and start a blog... DO IT!!! :) When I started this blog, I had no clue what I was doing. You could go back and read my first few posts if you haven't yet. I used Blogger b/c it was easy to get started, and free. If you WANT to write, you DO have the imagination and talent to make it happen. I 100% believe you wouldn't have the desire within you if you couldn't do it. I read a quote once that said basically that our passions, interests, and desires, are snapshots into our futures (or past lives, if you're into that), showing us what we not only can do, but already have done. We just need to keep pressing forward, one step at a time.
You've got to find a way to drop your feeling of inadequacy!! I know how you feel though, and feel that way too from time to time. All I can say is you have to put it out of your mind and do it (write) anyway. Start somewhere. I find when I'm feeling stuck or low, when I get out my journal and write whatever I'm thinking or feeling, without screening myself, it helps me work through a lot of stuff. I've seen stuff come up for me by doing this, that I hadn't realized prior to journaling.
To touch on your other comment about your writing feeling flat... EVERY writer's writing comes out flat from time to time. Often especially at the beginning. The key is to KEEP writing. Get it out. Then you go back and reread, edit, change stuff, etc. I can't even tell you how many times I read and reread my first novel ("The Time of Your Life") prior to publishing it. I changed parts. Added parts. Deleted whole parts. It took many months. And there's no other way to do it than to just start. Don't worry if your first few paragraphs, pages, or even chapters feel flat to you. Just get the story inside your mind out onto the paper. As you write, it'll become more clear to you. That's happened for all my books (I've written 7 so far). I don't know where it'll go when I start, but I have a kernal of a story, and just start writing.
I LOVE your idea of a tea shop! How fun!! :) I have lots of ideas like that too... different little businesses I'd love to open. A cafe is one of them. Maybe someday. :)
My suggestion to you moving forward is to follow your heart. Tune into your spirit and have the courage to do what it tells you to do. I can't tell you to quit your teaching job, or not to quit your teaching job. I can honestly see the advantages to both avenues. I quit my teaching job, and at the time I knew it was what I had to do. But to be perfectly honest, looking back, I wish I had stuck it out longer and built up more of a savings. Ah... hindsight is 20/20, and as I said, in the moment, I did what I felt I had to do. I try not to have regrets.
I know you'll figure it out though... just give yourself the freedom to DO what you know you need to do. And if you'd like to keep in touch (I feel like we have a lot in common), look me up on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/sarahnoel500) under Sarah Noel.