Monday, May 23, 2016

"Stop Chasing Your Dreams"

"Stop chasing your dreams. Allow them to come to you in perfect order with unquestioned timing," (Wayne Dyer, p. 70, "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life").

I am a go-getter. When I identify something I'd like to have, or be, I am full-force going for it! In this way, I have been able to bring into my life many things I have wanted for myself, including jobs and relationships. In this way, I have also, no doubt, added unnecessary stress and worry.

As Wayne Dyer suggests, it's not up to us to "chase" our dreams. To "make them happen," contrary to popular belief today. The Universe has things under control. God has our backs. The only thing we have to do is formulate a thought, a desire, and then let it go, and let God, as they say.

I'm not saying to sit idly by, watching mindless TV shows all day, stuffing your face. You still have to put forth some effort. Apply for jobs you're interested in. Put yourself out there in the dating world. Volunteer with groups you're passionate about. Do something

But assuming you are "doing something" about whatever it is you want, that's all you can do. At that point it's in under the realm of the Universe. It's in God's hands.

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So what is your vision for yourself? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of life would you like to have?

This chapter came at the perfect time for me. If you've been reading my blog, you know I've been seeking a job as a teacher. And as much as I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to be, it'll be.... it's still stressful and worrisome waiting, not knowing.

I was feeling the fear today, as an interview I had scheduled got postponed. I was feeling the fear of knowing that whether a school chooses to hire me is not in my control. The fear of not knowing what I'll be doing for work a month from now.

Then I picked up Wayne's book and began reading. When I read this chapter (15), that was it. That was the reassurance I needed. It'll all be ok.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Enough is Enough

More. Who doesn't want more? Of the good stuff anyway.

More money. More time. More love.

In my second reading of "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life," the 9th chapter spoke to me. In it, Wayne Dyer writes:

"Cramming life with possessions, pleasures, pride, and activities when we've obviously reached a point where more is less indicates being in harmony with the ego, not the Tao... The Pursuit of more status, more money, more power, more approval, more stuff, is as foolish as honing a carving knife after it has reached its zenith of sharpness." (p. 45)

The reason this chapter jumped out at me is because I've been struggling with accepting the fact that a potential job I am going after pays considerably less than other jobs in the same field.

At first, I didn't intend to even apply to this particular employer. Strictly because of the salary. Then I realized I'd rather work there than nowhere, should it come to that, so I applied. And now I have an interview coming up. Which, I have to admit, I am very excited about. I just had to get over my obsession with the money.

Then I read this chapter of Wayne's book.

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Money isn't everything. By any means. I know this. We all know this. Yet many of us spend way too much time worrying about it and wishing we had more of it. But do we have enough? Do you? Do I?

Money can buy many fine things, as the quote above says. But only you can choose to enjoy those things. Only you can choose whether you enjoy your life or not, regardless of what you have or don't have.

Certainly, I would rather work at a job I love for less pay than feel stuck in a job I hate, but bring home a higher paycheck. As long as there's enough money... then enough is enough.

What area of your life do you need to realize enough is enough? Where do you need to let go of the constant urge to pursue more, more, more? Where do you need to sit back, relax, and enjoy what you have? 

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Failure and Life

"It's impossible to live without failing at something." - J.K. Rowling

Yesterday I had an especially strong interaction with failure. Or rather, the feeling of failure. Quite simply, I felt like I failed at everything I tried. I felt like a big, fat failure, ashamed and embarrassed.   

Whenever you're feeling like a failure, it's a sign that you're not content with your life as it is. And often that you regret either choices you've made in the past, or rather, how those choices turned out.

This is definitely true for me. I certainly regret choices I've made in the past -- because of the results of those choices. But here's the thing. I didn't know, I couldn't know, what those results would be prior to making the choice!

Every choice, every decision, I've made in my life has been what I thought was the best for me at that time. I'm sure everyone can say this. Why would anyone intentionally choose or decide something that they knew would be bad or work out to their detriment? No one would. So it's time I start giving myself the grace and forgiveness I'd give to other people lamenting over their own regrets.

"Whatever difficulties you're going through, they did not come to stay, they came to pass!" - Global Expert Space on Facebook.

"Whatever you feel within you as your calling -- whatever makes you feel alive -- know in your heart that this excitement is all the evidence you need to have your inner passion become reality." (Wayne Dyer, "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, p. 30). 

I've just been doubting a lot lately. Doubting if I'm making the right choices. Doubting if I'm on the right path. Doubting, doubting, doubting. BLAH!

"Whatever you feel compelled to it with your unique flair. Being creative means trusting your inner calling, ignoring criticism or judgment, and releasing resistance to your natural talents.... 'Without fail, [the spirit] brings us to our own perfection.' Then choose to let go of the doubt and fear..." (Wayne Dyer, p. 31).

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot, and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

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Or, in comment to the quote in the picture above, you have succeeded, it's just that perhaps that success didn't last as long as you would have liked or didn't feel like you expected.

That's the thing with life. None of us are perfect in everything on our first attempt. Sure, some people may "get it" quicker than others. And some people simply may not take as many risks or make as many attempts at stepping outside of their "box."

But it's YOUR life. And MY life. Embrace the choices you've made! As long as you've learned and grown, it's not a mistake. It was an opportunity for learning and growth!

So what opportunities await you and me today? Let's summon our courage, step outside of our boxes, and FIND OUT!

Now is Not the Time

I have been worrying a lot lately about my future. It seems every couple of days I go through the cycle. Worry. Relax and trust. Worry. Relax and trust... Only the "relax and trust" periods are getting shorter and shorter.

It was in an especially worried moment yesterday that I told myself, "It's ok to worry, just now is not the time."

There's no point in worrying all the time. I've done all that I can do right now. I'm in the waiting period. That's just how it is. Worrying will not change that or make it go by any faster.

I told myself, "May is for applying for jobs. Not worrying about whether or not I'll get any of them."

I've been applying. A lot. What will come of it.... only time will tell. But again, now is not the time to worry about it, now is the time to look and apply.

I've already decided June and July will be months for relaxing and enjoying. Hopefully I'll have some job interviews in those months. But either way, again, there is nothing I can do about that.

Once the end of July comes, and then into August, if I still don't have a job, then, and only then, will it be time to make other plans. Worry a little, maybe. But definitely move to plan B.

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A quote from Wayne Dyer: "Take this same approach -- staying in harmony with the Tao -- to all of your problems, for there's an all-encompassing supply of well-being to partner with. So rather than giving energy to illness and perceived misfortunes... stay with what can never be used up. Stay with...the creative Source of all. It will work with and for you, as you have it in your thoughts, then in your feelings, and finally in your actions." (p. 22, "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life.)

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Wanting vs. Doing

 My life has felt a bit "stuck" lately. Stuck in a waiting game. Waiting for the phone to ring for job interviews. Waiting to find out if I'm offered a job. Waiting to set up childcare for my baby if I do get that job. Waiting to plan the rest of my life. Or at least the next year.

I felt like I needed some guidance. Some calm and peace in this internal storm I have raging. So, as usual, I turned to Wayne Dyer. I decided to read his book, "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life" for the second time. It's been a couple of years since I read it the first time and I remember it helping immensely.

Last night I read the first chapter of the book, "Living the Mystery," pages 3-6. Right away I came away with some very helpful insights.

"Think of the things in life that involve wanting and how they differ from allowing: Wanting to go to sleep...rather than going to sleep. Wanting to diet, rather than dieting. Wanting to love, rather than loving."

I want to teach again. So teach!

Wayne goes on to tell us that it's important to trust, permit, and allow. Not negative things necessarily. Not harmful things, certainly. But life in general.

"Pay attention to times when you can feel in your body where you are on the continuum between desiring and allowing (or trying and doing). Trying to play the the same as, and different from, actually playing the piano."  

I think people tend to focus so much on the "trying" and "desiring" and "wanting." But the real beauty of life lies in the allowing and doing. Also being "desireless" as Wayne talks about.

"Let the world unfold without always attempting to figure it all out. Let relationships just be, for example, since everything is going to stretch out in Divine order. Don't try so hard to make something work -- simply allow."

Don't try to figure everything out? But that's what I do! (Says the voice inside my head.)

We're constantly trying to make sense of the world around us. At least I am. And I'd bet most of you are too. What does that mean? What did she/he mean when they said that? What did they really mean when they did X, Y, or Z? Nonstop analyzing. With every aspect of our lives.

The part about relationships in the quote snipit above jumped out at me too. I don't have the relationship with my mom that I wish I did. I seem to always be stressing about something related to our relationship or an interaction we've had or are about to have. Wayne's words really helped settle my spirit in that sense. "Let relationships just be....Don't try so hard to make something work -- just allow."

This is definitely something I can improve in. Allowing. Not trying so hard to make something better.

Maybe (just maybe) there is nothing wrong with the relationship I currently have with my mom. Maybe it just is what it is. Maybe if I sopped analyzing it and her and me with her... maybe if I just relaxed and let it be...maybe that's all I need to do.

"When expectations are shattered, practice allowing that to be the way it is. Relax, let go, allow, and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment."

How I think my world should be rather than how it is. Yes. Does this ring true for anyone else? I am always comparing my world "as it should be" to "how it is." And then trying to figure it out and/or figure out what I can do to make it better. (Or what someone else needs to do!)

It's time I stop this. It's not doing me any favors. My world is not any better thanks to my analyzing and comparing and trying to make it so.

I am old enough, and mature enough, now to accept things as they are. Accept people as they are. And know it'll all be ok. It'll all work out. I may not know exactly how, but that's ok too!

So the grand take-aways from this first chapter of Wayne's book (take two)?

Let people be who they are and let relationships be what they are. It's ok. 

Stop wanting so much and just do (or be). 

What about you? What did you get out of these quotes or this blog post?

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Climbing Mountains

"Just because you can have it all, doesn't mean there's something wrong with you until you do... You couldn't get it if you already had it. And it's the 'getting of it' that you really want, in an adventure that can only begin with wanting what you do not yet have."

That was the message I got in my "note from the Universe" this morning. I hadn't thought about it quite that way, but it's very true. At least for me.

I've read in astrology books that Capricorns often "create" a mountain just so they have something to climb (Capricorns are goats for those of you not into astrology). Whether you believe in astrology or not (I'm not a die-hard believer myself, but I have found some truths in it), what it says about Capricorns is true about me. But I'm sure people with other signs can be the same way too.

I like to feel accomplished. I like to climb mountains -- both figuratively and literally.... well... as long as the literal mountain isn't too big...

But I've definitely noticed that I do this. I look for "mountains" in my life just so I have something to climb. Something to reach for. Something to solve.

And it's in climbing, the reaching, and the solving, that I feel good about myself. Because once I get to the top, or solve the problem, it doesn't take long for me to be looking for the next one.

Sure, I enjoy the view from the top for a while. I bask in my accomplishment of solving the problem. But then I'm ready to go again. Climb a new mountain. Anyone else do this?

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So back to the quote above. Like anyone else, I can lament about the things I don't have. And wish I had them. But I couldn't feel the sense of accomplishment from getting something if I already had it to begin with.

Take money, for instance. Sure, it would be nice to already have loads and loads of money and never need to work for it. I'm sure we've all felt this way. I admit to feeling jealous at times of people who are born into wealthy families and have it all handed to them.

But think about those people. Do they feel a strong sense of accomplishment? I'm guessing not. At least not in the area of earning an income and watching their savings build on account of their own hard work. Because they haven't "accomplished" that themselves. They didn't have to do anything to get it.

The same is often true of athletes. People who are just born excellent at something often take it for granted. They haven't had to work at honing their skill and becoming good. It's the people who have worked, day after day, to improve, little by little, that generally are most grateful for where they are because they appreciate what it took to get there.

So it is with these reminders that I look at my own life. No, I'm not exactly where I want to be. Yet. No, I don't have the amount of money in the bank that I desire. Yet. But I have something to work towards. A mountain to climb. And I am climbing it. Step by step.  
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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

What if You Don't Have a Passion?

I love me some Elizabeth Gilbert! When I heard her talk on Oprah's Super Soul Sessions about passion...or lack resonated with me. So much so that I wanted to write my own blog article about it.

Like Elizabeth, I have spouted "follow your passion" for years. But unlike her, I was often confused about what my passion exactly was. It seemed to change. Come and go. I didn't know what to make of this. It seemed something was wrong with me. Wrong with my "passion." I didn't seem to have one...or at least not one very strong.

I have often been envious of others who seem to really have a passion. Or at least the determination to stick with whatever it was they chose as their line of work. You know, those people who say at a very young age, "I want to be a doctor (or teacher or writer...fill in the blank)," and then actually do that and follow that path for the rest of their life.

I admired that kind of passion. I longed for it. I've never had it.

Yet I still professed "follow your passion" anytime the topic came up. Also in my own head. I was just still on the lookout for what my passion was. I was still searching.

When Elizabeth shared the story about the woman who wrote to her about not having a passion...that was me! (Well, not actually me, but it could have been.)

The woman said she didn't have any one thing that set her heart afire and was her guiding light to build her whole life around. She had lots of different interests. She would pursue one, thinking that was it, then find out it wasn't, so she'd go after something else... Her interests often changed by the season, and she couldn't seem to keep up with all the interests she had.


That is definitely me. What about you?

This was also the story of Elizabeth's husband. He bounced around the world, following different interests and inclinations. When he was once challenged by someone, who pointed out he never had a central, guiding passion in his life and therefore, he wouldn't be able to leave a legacy because he never stuck with anything long enough.... When he was challenged by that person, he realized he did have a passion. His passion was "life itself."

Yes, YES!

So what do we do now? Where do we go from here?

Elizabeth suggests taking the word "passion" off the table. Stop focusing on that word. Stop trying to find it. Instead, investigate your curiosity.

We all have those little things that pique our curiosity. For whatever reason, we feel drawn to something. We want to learn more. We think it might just be what we've been searching for. But we're not sure. We're just curious.

That is what we need to give ourselves permission to look further into. When you feel curious about something, just look into it. Don't jump off the cliff. Don't give up everything, change everything, and run down that path. That's what "following a passion" asks...but not following a curiosity.

You may take a few steps in a direction that you were curious about and realize that's not for you after all. That's fine. Turn around and go back. After all, you only took a few steps down that path. See, that's the beauty of following your curiosities. You don't have to give up everything to learn more about them.

If, in fact, you do find something you want to pursue further, then you can. And you can still do it little by little. And if at some point along the way, your curiosity is satisfied and you're no longer interested in that thing...That is Ok! Follow the next curiosity. Look into it. Take a peek. See where it will lead.

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