Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Wanting vs. Doing

 My life has felt a bit "stuck" lately. Stuck in a waiting game. Waiting for the phone to ring for job interviews. Waiting to find out if I'm offered a job. Waiting to set up childcare for my baby if I do get that job. Waiting to plan the rest of my life. Or at least the next year.

I felt like I needed some guidance. Some calm and peace in this internal storm I have raging. So, as usual, I turned to Wayne Dyer. I decided to read his book, "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life" for the second time. It's been a couple of years since I read it the first time and I remember it helping immensely.

Last night I read the first chapter of the book, "Living the Mystery," pages 3-6. Right away I came away with some very helpful insights.

"Think of the things in life that involve wanting and how they differ from allowing: Wanting to go to sleep...rather than going to sleep. Wanting to diet, rather than dieting. Wanting to love, rather than loving."

I want to teach again. So teach!

Wayne goes on to tell us that it's important to trust, permit, and allow. Not negative things necessarily. Not harmful things, certainly. But life in general.

"Pay attention to times when you can feel in your body where you are on the continuum between desiring and allowing (or trying and doing). Trying to play the piano...is the same as, and different from, actually playing the piano."  

I think people tend to focus so much on the "trying" and "desiring" and "wanting." But the real beauty of life lies in the allowing and doing. Also being "desireless" as Wayne talks about.

"Let the world unfold without always attempting to figure it all out. Let relationships just be, for example, since everything is going to stretch out in Divine order. Don't try so hard to make something work -- simply allow."

Don't try to figure everything out? But that's what I do! (Says the voice inside my head.)

We're constantly trying to make sense of the world around us. At least I am. And I'd bet most of you are too. What does that mean? What did she/he mean when they said that? What did they really mean when they did X, Y, or Z? Nonstop analyzing. With every aspect of our lives.

The part about relationships in the quote snipit above jumped out at me too. I don't have the relationship with my mom that I wish I did. I seem to always be stressing about something related to our relationship or an interaction we've had or are about to have. Wayne's words really helped settle my spirit in that sense. "Let relationships just be....Don't try so hard to make something work -- just allow."

This is definitely something I can improve in. Allowing. Not trying so hard to make something better.

Maybe (just maybe) there is nothing wrong with the relationship I currently have with my mom. Maybe it just is what it is. Maybe if I sopped analyzing it and her and me with her... maybe if I just relaxed and let it be...maybe that's all I need to do.

"When expectations are shattered, practice allowing that to be the way it is. Relax, let go, allow, and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment."

How I think my world should be rather than how it is. Yes. Does this ring true for anyone else? I am always comparing my world "as it should be" to "how it is." And then trying to figure it out and/or figure out what I can do to make it better. (Or what someone else needs to do!)

It's time I stop this. It's not doing me any favors. My world is not any better thanks to my analyzing and comparing and trying to make it so.

I am old enough, and mature enough, now to accept things as they are. Accept people as they are. And know it'll all be ok. It'll all work out. I may not know exactly how, but that's ok too!

So the grand take-aways from this first chapter of Wayne's book (take two)?

Let people be who they are and let relationships be what they are. It's ok. 

Stop wanting so much and just do (or be). 

What about you? What did you get out of these quotes or this blog post?

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