The section of "The Power," by Rhonda Byrne that I read last night was especially eye-opening for me. Every time we think a negative thought, it brings more negativity to us. No matter what the thought is.
We, or I should say I, can be very judgmental. I see someone wearing something cut too low, too short, too tight...and I judge. I judge other drivers all the time when I'm on the road behind them. I judge the decisions others make.
They say we judge others more severely in areas where we feel most insecure. In some ways, I see truth to that, other times, I'm not so sure. But that's besides the point today.
Each time we make a judgement, what we're doing is sending out negative energy. Because those judgements are most often negative in nature. We're essentially saying, or thinking to ourselves, that someone else isn't good enough, in whatever it is we're judging them for.
How many times do we feel not good enough in our lives? It could be due largely to all the "you're not good enough" vibes we're sending out all the time! What we give out, we get back!
I know for me, not feeling good enough is huge. I wrestle with it nearly every day in some aspect of my life. I've slowly been making progress, but I foresee even greater progress now that I know more about it, and about the laws of the Universe.
Let's talk about this topic a little more. I'll share some examples from the book that really hit home for me.
Have you ever been single, but not really wanted to be single, and so every time you saw a happy couple you made some sort of complaining or negative-based remark, or thought the thought to yourself? What you're doing there is projecting the thought that you don't like happy couples. That you don't want to be a happy couple. Even though it's what you say you want, your thoughts and feelings don't support it, because you're not supporting and happy for other happy couples.
The key is to be happy for other happy couples, which will send out positive vibes, and the right kind of frequency to attract happy coupledom into your own life.
You see, and here's something I didn't realize, when you're spending so much time thinking how much you want to be in a relationship, and then you see other people in relationships, that IS the Universe sending you your desires. It is showing you what you, too, can have. If you only remain in a place of Love on the subject. If you love seeing happy couples. If you love hearing stories of how other people met. Drop the jealousy, envy, and doubt... Love!
"When you feel good about anything any person has, you are bringing it to you." (p. 101, "The Power")
How many times have you been obsessed with a certain car, and then you seem to see it everywhere? That happened to me a few months ago when I was considering getting a new car. There were a couple models in particular I liked, and I saw them all the time!
What that is, is the Universe giving me the car of my dreams/thoughts. It's showing it to me, saying, "You can have this too." All you/I have to do is Love the car, Love that other people have it, and know and believe that you/I can have it too.
Of course sometimes that's easier said than done. But that's the key. Be happy for other people when they have whatever it is you're wishing for your own self. Don't be jealous, envious, judgmental. Those thoughts say to the Universe, sure, I might like and want whatever this is, but I don't believe I'll ever have it. So you feel negative, and send out negative thoughts...thereby keeping the object of your desire from yourself, when the Universe is trying really hard to give it to you!
So Key #1: Be happy for others, especially when they have or are something you desire for yourself.
And Key #2: When you encounter people that are or have something you genuinely do not like, still do not send out negative thoughts and judgments. Instead, "turn away" from it, ignore it basically, and remain neutral.
Avoid at all costs sending out any negativity. Negativity attracts negativity, and you will get it back, someway, sometime, somehow.
Remember, before you start stressing out and think, "I can't have another negative thought!" and then berate yourself when a negative thought or judgment does cross your mind... Stay in Love. Start with yourself. We're human. We're not perfect. We will still have negative thoughts, feelings, and judgments from time to time. Let it be. And just let it go.
When you feel negativity spreading over yourself, and you catch it (whenever you catch it), just think "Love." Douse yourself in Love. Be kind to You. Be gentle. And return to Love.
This chapter of the book got me to excited. It was definitely an "a-ha" moment for me. I hadn't made the connection between how I feel about other people, especially when they have or are something I desire for myself... and myself getting, or not getting, whatever it is.
But now I'm excited to go out into the world. I will now be genuinely happy for people when they win the lottery, go on amazing trips, and have really cool houses. At least I'll be working on that.
It all starts Today. And it all is Love.
In peace and love,
Sarah
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Where's the Love
I'm reading a new book now: "The Power," by Rhonda Byrne. It's the follow-up book to "The Secret." If you have not read it yet, all I can say it Read It!
I'm familiar with "The Secret," though it had been a while since I read the book. And I'm finding "The Power" incredibly powerful!
If you're not familiar, the brief summary of the concept presented in the book is that we create our lives through not just our thoughts, but the feelings behind our thoughts. And it's all grounded in Love.
So we can think a certain thought, over and over and over, but if we don't have feeling behind it, it doesn't do much good. Yet, if we can muster a passionate feeling to support our words and thoughts, then watch out!
I've seen it happen both ways. I'm a big believer in affirmations. I have said affirmations that while at first it felt a little awkward and I wasn't sure I'd get whatever it was I was affirming, the more I said it, the more I believed it, and it came to pass!
An example of this is in my relationships. Four years ago when I was single, I felt ready for "the" big relationship of my life. I was dating, though not much, and had no one I was seriously interested in. But I started saying the affirmation, thanking the Universe for my long-term, loving relationship. I said the affirmation countless times, over a few months. Then I met my now-fiance! Would I have met him had I not been saying the affirmations? Who knows. But I believe it certainly helped. I believed it "called" him into my life.
An example of it not working for me was when I said an affirmation about being a successful writer. This was about a year ago. I was struggling at the time and desperately wanted to "make it" as a writer, yet I didn't know how, when, or if that would happen. I had major doubts. But I dove into the affirmations anyway. Unlike the affirmations I said regarding relationship, this time I never really felt it. It always felt like a stretch, and always felt more like it wouldn't happen, than like it would happen. And guess what? It didn't happen.
My writing "career" took a nose-dive, causing me to look for other employment, and leading me to where I am today... working a full-time job, and trying to get back on the writing track. I had no positive feeling behind the affirming words I was saying about becoming a successful writer. I tried... but I couldn't seem to make myself believe it would happen.
This time it's different though. For one, I don't feel the desperation I felt before. My bills are paid, thanks to my steady job. And two, I have more belief that I am meant to be a writer... and make a good living at it!
So ok... you have the thoughts and affirmations, and you have the positive feelings behind it. How do you increase it? How do you give those thoughts and feelings power?
Love.
That's the predominant message in the book, "The Power." Anything we send love to, will increase and grow.
When we feel uncertain, scared, anxious, frustrated, etc, all that is is a lack of love. And the answer to overcoming those feelings that we all feel from time to time is an influx of love.
As Rhonda Byrne instructs in the book, we can't take away our negative feelings. They'll always pop up from time to time and that's not the problem. When we feel anything less than good, happy, and joy, all we need to do is send a surge of love into ourselves, or into that area of our lives.
Not happy with your job? (I've been there... quite recently in fact.)
Focus on the love you feel for your job. Love that you have a steady income. Love that you can pay your bills.
Not happy with a person in your life?
Focus on the love you can and do feel for them.
In relationships, it's easy to let our egos take over and want what we want. We want to be loved. We want to be taken care of and cherished. We want the other person to do all this for us. But what are we doing for them?
By sitting back and wanting to receive before we give, it won't work. In order to receive what you want, give love first.
None of this is new. I suspect most of you have heard this same message from at least one other source. Wayne Dyer professes it in many of his books and talks. Sometimes, though, we have to hear something multiple times for it to sink in and have power over us. I know I've heard how important it is to give in order to receive, and to think positive, and all sorts of that type of message. And I've tried to do it, with periodic success in the past. But this time, for whatever reason, it feels different for me.
And that's my hope with this blog. Even if you've heard these concepts before, I'm hoping that at some point, whether it's today, tomorrow, or next month, it'll feel different for you too. It'll finally click, in entirety, and you'll be able to soar in your life and create the life of your dreams!
Step 1: Focus on the Love.
Stay tuned for further blog posts on this topic, as I continue to read and study, "The Power." I'm excited!
In peace and love,
Sarah
I'm familiar with "The Secret," though it had been a while since I read the book. And I'm finding "The Power" incredibly powerful!
If you're not familiar, the brief summary of the concept presented in the book is that we create our lives through not just our thoughts, but the feelings behind our thoughts. And it's all grounded in Love.
So we can think a certain thought, over and over and over, but if we don't have feeling behind it, it doesn't do much good. Yet, if we can muster a passionate feeling to support our words and thoughts, then watch out!
I've seen it happen both ways. I'm a big believer in affirmations. I have said affirmations that while at first it felt a little awkward and I wasn't sure I'd get whatever it was I was affirming, the more I said it, the more I believed it, and it came to pass!
An example of this is in my relationships. Four years ago when I was single, I felt ready for "the" big relationship of my life. I was dating, though not much, and had no one I was seriously interested in. But I started saying the affirmation, thanking the Universe for my long-term, loving relationship. I said the affirmation countless times, over a few months. Then I met my now-fiance! Would I have met him had I not been saying the affirmations? Who knows. But I believe it certainly helped. I believed it "called" him into my life.
An example of it not working for me was when I said an affirmation about being a successful writer. This was about a year ago. I was struggling at the time and desperately wanted to "make it" as a writer, yet I didn't know how, when, or if that would happen. I had major doubts. But I dove into the affirmations anyway. Unlike the affirmations I said regarding relationship, this time I never really felt it. It always felt like a stretch, and always felt more like it wouldn't happen, than like it would happen. And guess what? It didn't happen.
My writing "career" took a nose-dive, causing me to look for other employment, and leading me to where I am today... working a full-time job, and trying to get back on the writing track. I had no positive feeling behind the affirming words I was saying about becoming a successful writer. I tried... but I couldn't seem to make myself believe it would happen.
This time it's different though. For one, I don't feel the desperation I felt before. My bills are paid, thanks to my steady job. And two, I have more belief that I am meant to be a writer... and make a good living at it!
So ok... you have the thoughts and affirmations, and you have the positive feelings behind it. How do you increase it? How do you give those thoughts and feelings power?
Love.
That's the predominant message in the book, "The Power." Anything we send love to, will increase and grow.
When we feel uncertain, scared, anxious, frustrated, etc, all that is is a lack of love. And the answer to overcoming those feelings that we all feel from time to time is an influx of love.
As Rhonda Byrne instructs in the book, we can't take away our negative feelings. They'll always pop up from time to time and that's not the problem. When we feel anything less than good, happy, and joy, all we need to do is send a surge of love into ourselves, or into that area of our lives.
Not happy with your job? (I've been there... quite recently in fact.)
Focus on the love you feel for your job. Love that you have a steady income. Love that you can pay your bills.
Not happy with a person in your life?
Focus on the love you can and do feel for them.
In relationships, it's easy to let our egos take over and want what we want. We want to be loved. We want to be taken care of and cherished. We want the other person to do all this for us. But what are we doing for them?
By sitting back and wanting to receive before we give, it won't work. In order to receive what you want, give love first.
None of this is new. I suspect most of you have heard this same message from at least one other source. Wayne Dyer professes it in many of his books and talks. Sometimes, though, we have to hear something multiple times for it to sink in and have power over us. I know I've heard how important it is to give in order to receive, and to think positive, and all sorts of that type of message. And I've tried to do it, with periodic success in the past. But this time, for whatever reason, it feels different for me.
And that's my hope with this blog. Even if you've heard these concepts before, I'm hoping that at some point, whether it's today, tomorrow, or next month, it'll feel different for you too. It'll finally click, in entirety, and you'll be able to soar in your life and create the life of your dreams!
Step 1: Focus on the Love.
Stay tuned for further blog posts on this topic, as I continue to read and study, "The Power." I'm excited!
In peace and love,
Sarah
Paying the Bills
Bills. We've all got 'em. And if we want to continue living the way we're accustomed to, we've gotta pay 'em. That's the "new" mindset I'm taking on in regards to my current job.
It's certainly nothing new. People have been "working to pay the bills" for centuries. But for me it is new because I haven't believed in living this way. Until now. And even now, I'm still on the fence about it.
I would love it if I made ample income through the sales of my fiction novels. That is the ultimate dream and goal. But, the reality is, I am not at that point yet.
This was a hard pill to swallow when I realized I wasn't "making it" through book sales alone and I needed to find another job to bring in some money. I felt embarrassed. I had been telling people for over two years, "I'm a writer now!" It had taken a while to get used to announcing that, and now that I had, I could no longer claim that that was my sole profession.
But I'm coming to two realizations about that.
1) I can still say, "I'm a writer." I can still proclaim that as my profession. It's still true... and no one needs to know it's not my primary source of income. After all, is income alone the sole decider of what is one's professional title? I think not.
2) There's no shame in working a "regular job" while pursuing your dream at the same time.
I always thought, at least to some degree, that people who pursued their passions on the side weren't that passionate about it. If they were, they'd jump in with both feet. Dive in head first. Really go for it.
I see things differently now. I see that sometimes our life circumstances dictate the choices we make.
So that's the "new" mindset I am approaching my job with these days. Instead of thinking, "I have to go to work now," I think about it as, "I'm going to pay the bills now." My work is still my writing.
Job = paying the bills (temporarily... as long as it's necessary)
Work = my life's work, passion, heart's interest (for me, writing)
It's a small delineation, but, surprise surprise, for the writer in me, word choice makes a difference.
I have also given myself permission to just do my job. By that I mean, I am working on accepting that it's just a job, and its purpose is to pay the bills. It's not my passion. It's not my Spirit's and Heart's desire. So I needn't give it the time and heart space as if it were.
When I first started my job I devoted a lot of time, energy, and attention to it. I worked well over the required amount of hours each week. I directed countless thoughts towards job-related things. It was new, it was exciting, I was happy with that.
Until I wasn't. As I've mentioned in previous posts recently, it didn't take too long for my true Spirit to surface and realize, yet again, that this job was not my passion and dream. Yet I still wasn't at the financial point that I could quit the job and live off my writing. That simply isn't feasible right now.
So I've come to an understanding. I can and will devote the necessary amount of time, energy, and attention to performing the tasks of my job sufficiently. I still take pride in what I do and always want to do and be the best I can be. But I'm cutting myself some slack. I'm learning how to do my job, but not make my life revolve around my job.
It's a learning process for me. I'm used to giving all of myself to whatever pursuit I'm currently pursuing. That is natural for me. But I notice I am finding more peace in my current situation, the more I give less of myself to my job, in order to have more of myself to give to my dream.
It's not ideal. But it's workable. I'm still hopeful that it'll be temporary (hey, all of life is temporary). I have no idea how long I'll need to continue at this job, or any job, until I've built up sufficient readership and following as a writer. That may never happen. But I choose to believe that it will.
I don't believe we would have the desires, passions, and dreams that we have if it weren't possible for us.
What desires, passions, and dreams do you have? Are you pursuing them? If not, why not? And if not, is there a way you can pursue them, even on a small scale right now?
Every step counts. Every action is important. Everything you do now sets up your future.
I am setting up my financial future at the moment by doing my job. And I am setting up my dream future by continuing to write and looking for ways to grow that business.
Continue to grow!
In peace and love,
Sarah
It's certainly nothing new. People have been "working to pay the bills" for centuries. But for me it is new because I haven't believed in living this way. Until now. And even now, I'm still on the fence about it.
I would love it if I made ample income through the sales of my fiction novels. That is the ultimate dream and goal. But, the reality is, I am not at that point yet.
This was a hard pill to swallow when I realized I wasn't "making it" through book sales alone and I needed to find another job to bring in some money. I felt embarrassed. I had been telling people for over two years, "I'm a writer now!" It had taken a while to get used to announcing that, and now that I had, I could no longer claim that that was my sole profession.
But I'm coming to two realizations about that.
1) I can still say, "I'm a writer." I can still proclaim that as my profession. It's still true... and no one needs to know it's not my primary source of income. After all, is income alone the sole decider of what is one's professional title? I think not.
2) There's no shame in working a "regular job" while pursuing your dream at the same time.
I always thought, at least to some degree, that people who pursued their passions on the side weren't that passionate about it. If they were, they'd jump in with both feet. Dive in head first. Really go for it.
I see things differently now. I see that sometimes our life circumstances dictate the choices we make.
So that's the "new" mindset I am approaching my job with these days. Instead of thinking, "I have to go to work now," I think about it as, "I'm going to pay the bills now." My work is still my writing.
Job = paying the bills (temporarily... as long as it's necessary)
Work = my life's work, passion, heart's interest (for me, writing)
It's a small delineation, but, surprise surprise, for the writer in me, word choice makes a difference.
I have also given myself permission to just do my job. By that I mean, I am working on accepting that it's just a job, and its purpose is to pay the bills. It's not my passion. It's not my Spirit's and Heart's desire. So I needn't give it the time and heart space as if it were.
When I first started my job I devoted a lot of time, energy, and attention to it. I worked well over the required amount of hours each week. I directed countless thoughts towards job-related things. It was new, it was exciting, I was happy with that.
Until I wasn't. As I've mentioned in previous posts recently, it didn't take too long for my true Spirit to surface and realize, yet again, that this job was not my passion and dream. Yet I still wasn't at the financial point that I could quit the job and live off my writing. That simply isn't feasible right now.
So I've come to an understanding. I can and will devote the necessary amount of time, energy, and attention to performing the tasks of my job sufficiently. I still take pride in what I do and always want to do and be the best I can be. But I'm cutting myself some slack. I'm learning how to do my job, but not make my life revolve around my job.
It's a learning process for me. I'm used to giving all of myself to whatever pursuit I'm currently pursuing. That is natural for me. But I notice I am finding more peace in my current situation, the more I give less of myself to my job, in order to have more of myself to give to my dream.
It's not ideal. But it's workable. I'm still hopeful that it'll be temporary (hey, all of life is temporary). I have no idea how long I'll need to continue at this job, or any job, until I've built up sufficient readership and following as a writer. That may never happen. But I choose to believe that it will.
I don't believe we would have the desires, passions, and dreams that we have if it weren't possible for us.
What desires, passions, and dreams do you have? Are you pursuing them? If not, why not? And if not, is there a way you can pursue them, even on a small scale right now?
Every step counts. Every action is important. Everything you do now sets up your future.
I am setting up my financial future at the moment by doing my job. And I am setting up my dream future by continuing to write and looking for ways to grow that business.
Continue to grow!
In peace and love,
Sarah
Monday, May 26, 2014
Are you Stepping Boldly?
I got the following email from tut.com today:
"Always, it's the one with a certain and definite dream, who boldly steps into the uncertain and indefinite, who goes the farthest and throws the best after-parties."
Are you stepping boldly into the uncertain and indefinite?
I feel I have the first part. I have a certain and definite dream to make a living as a fiction novelist. And the second part, to step boldly into the uncertain and indefinite... I feel I did that too, it just didn't work out.
When I quit my last full-time job as an educational interpreter, that was a pretty bold step. I took the leap of faith. I stepped out on that limb. I focused on writing full-time, and self-published 3 full-length novels, and one novella. Yet, I didn't see the monetary reward of doing that, and that's the hard part.
Sometimes dreams take a little longer to come to fruition though. Think about the professional athletes who spend all those years through their childhood, into high school, college, and sometimes beyond, before getting chosen by a professional team and before they can make any money through doing the sport they love.
Think about the stories of authors, dancers, and actors who didn't "make it" until they were later on in life. Morgan Freeman, I think I read, was in his 50s before "making it" as an actor. And he's an exceptional actor! Stephen King has MANY books out there that didn't take off, until the ones that did.
Stories like this abound. Perhaps the only way to truly know if you want something is for it not to come easy. For you to try and "fail" on multiple accounts, but to stick with it.
When I started my current traditional job as a job coach, I thought I might be done with writing. For a period of time I wondered if I had written the books I was meant to write, and it just wasn't meant to be for me... that I was meant to stick to working a traditional job, with the steady paycheck and nice benefits.
But seeing as how I've only been in that job 3 months and I'm already getting that spiritual urge to "run," I don't know that sticking with traditional employment is for me after all.
I say "spiritual urge to run" because it truly feels spiritual. It's coming from deep within me. My job is secure. It's comfortable. It's a good job. But my spirit is still calling out. My spirit feels discontent.
This reminds me of part of the book I'm still reading by Robin Roberts, "Everybody's Got Something." I can't find the page to quote it exactly right now, but the gist is this:
Many of us don't like to hurt others' feelings, disappoint people, or come across as rude. So we often make choices that take that into account. But when it comes to our LIFE, you've gotta drop the fear. Do what you need to do.
Of course that still doesn't mean to be purposely mean, hurtful, or inconsiderate. But it's your life; it's in your hands alone; and the outcome is up to you (to a large extent).
In Robin's case, she was talking about a time in the course of her treatment, when she wanted to make a change, but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Hers really WAS a potential life or death situation. Most of our dilemmas aren't so dire, at least not in that sense. But your life is just as important.
Think about your dreams. Are you taking bold and consistent action towards them? That doesn't mean you have to drop everything and dive head-first into the water that is your dream. But make your way there.
I saw an interview years ago with Po Bronson on the Oprah show after the release of his best-selling book, "What Should I Do With My Life." If you haven't read it, I also highly recommend it. To give you a brief summary, Po had a high-profile, very high-paying job. But he wasn't satisfied with his life. He was discontent and unhappy. He made the choice to walk away from his job and be an author full-time. In his interview with Oprah he said it like this (paraphrasing): "I wasn't going to choose money and then my dream. Instead, I chose to work my way there, little by little."
Also remember (as I am now) that we don't know HOW things will work out. And it's not even important that we do. What's important is to focus on what you desire. Focus on the end result. HOW you get there... leave that up to the Universe.
In peace and love,
Sarah
"Always, it's the one with a certain and definite dream, who boldly steps into the uncertain and indefinite, who goes the farthest and throws the best after-parties."
Are you stepping boldly into the uncertain and indefinite?
I feel I have the first part. I have a certain and definite dream to make a living as a fiction novelist. And the second part, to step boldly into the uncertain and indefinite... I feel I did that too, it just didn't work out.
When I quit my last full-time job as an educational interpreter, that was a pretty bold step. I took the leap of faith. I stepped out on that limb. I focused on writing full-time, and self-published 3 full-length novels, and one novella. Yet, I didn't see the monetary reward of doing that, and that's the hard part.
Sometimes dreams take a little longer to come to fruition though. Think about the professional athletes who spend all those years through their childhood, into high school, college, and sometimes beyond, before getting chosen by a professional team and before they can make any money through doing the sport they love.
Think about the stories of authors, dancers, and actors who didn't "make it" until they were later on in life. Morgan Freeman, I think I read, was in his 50s before "making it" as an actor. And he's an exceptional actor! Stephen King has MANY books out there that didn't take off, until the ones that did.
Stories like this abound. Perhaps the only way to truly know if you want something is for it not to come easy. For you to try and "fail" on multiple accounts, but to stick with it.
When I started my current traditional job as a job coach, I thought I might be done with writing. For a period of time I wondered if I had written the books I was meant to write, and it just wasn't meant to be for me... that I was meant to stick to working a traditional job, with the steady paycheck and nice benefits.
But seeing as how I've only been in that job 3 months and I'm already getting that spiritual urge to "run," I don't know that sticking with traditional employment is for me after all.
I say "spiritual urge to run" because it truly feels spiritual. It's coming from deep within me. My job is secure. It's comfortable. It's a good job. But my spirit is still calling out. My spirit feels discontent.
This reminds me of part of the book I'm still reading by Robin Roberts, "Everybody's Got Something." I can't find the page to quote it exactly right now, but the gist is this:
Many of us don't like to hurt others' feelings, disappoint people, or come across as rude. So we often make choices that take that into account. But when it comes to our LIFE, you've gotta drop the fear. Do what you need to do.
Of course that still doesn't mean to be purposely mean, hurtful, or inconsiderate. But it's your life; it's in your hands alone; and the outcome is up to you (to a large extent).
In Robin's case, she was talking about a time in the course of her treatment, when she wanted to make a change, but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Hers really WAS a potential life or death situation. Most of our dilemmas aren't so dire, at least not in that sense. But your life is just as important.
Think about your dreams. Are you taking bold and consistent action towards them? That doesn't mean you have to drop everything and dive head-first into the water that is your dream. But make your way there.
I saw an interview years ago with Po Bronson on the Oprah show after the release of his best-selling book, "What Should I Do With My Life." If you haven't read it, I also highly recommend it. To give you a brief summary, Po had a high-profile, very high-paying job. But he wasn't satisfied with his life. He was discontent and unhappy. He made the choice to walk away from his job and be an author full-time. In his interview with Oprah he said it like this (paraphrasing): "I wasn't going to choose money and then my dream. Instead, I chose to work my way there, little by little."
Also remember (as I am now) that we don't know HOW things will work out. And it's not even important that we do. What's important is to focus on what you desire. Focus on the end result. HOW you get there... leave that up to the Universe.
In peace and love,
Sarah
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Beware the "Mind Threat"
Have you ever felt that instant surge of fear, anxiety, or nervousness that accompanies a perceived threat? But you may not have been able to identify any actual threat, or reason why you're feeling that way?
This happened to me yesterday. In fact, it's been happening a long time. It probably happens to all of us throughout our lives. Someone said something that it instantly triggered my fear response.
For me, at least at that moment, that internal reaction was one of not feeling good enough, not feeling loved, and fear of abandonment.
My ego mind was saying, "This is not good," "I need to do something about this," "I need to control this situation."
And a year ago I probably would have gone to "that place" and made an even bigger issue out of something really very small. But fortunately I've learned and grown a lot in the past year and was able to remind myself to just sit with it. Let myself feel the disturbance, as Michael Singer might suggest. Keep my heart open and let the fear pass right on out.
We're never going to be 100% free of fear. There will always be things, little and big, that pop up in our lives that elicit that immediate fear response. Sometimes they will be warranted, but other times it will just be our ego taking over and running out of habit. That is the precise time to let go of old fear-inducing habits and grow.
But back to the title of this post: "The Mind Threat." I realized yesterday as I was letting my fear pass through that there was no actual threat. It was in my mind.
Someone had said something and with just a single sentence, really a single word, my habitual fear response tied to that word was sparked.
Just because our fear response is set off, it doesn't necessarily mean there's something to be afraid of. It's important to remember that. That's why I call it the "mind threat." It's a threat that exists solely in our minds. Created by our past experiences and our egos.
What mind threats do you have?
Sometimes we may not even know what our mind threats are until something sets them off. Our minds are like a mine field. But when something does trigger a mind threat, just be aware of it. See what's going on. Sit with it. Just let it be.
That's how it will work its way out of your system. Notice it, but notice it for what it is. Not for what it isn't.
It isn't a real threat (first you must decide this, of course).
It isn't something you need to control.
It isn't something you need to push down, ignore, or stifle.
It's a part of you that you've been carrying around.
A part that doesn't serve your best interest or highest good.
A part that it's ok to let go of.
Knowing the difference between mind threats and actual threats is important. It's an ability you need to hone and grow. How do you know the difference?
First, get quiet, get still, and let it be. Don't immediately seek to do anything.
Sometimes it will be clear that it's a mind threat and not an actual threat within a few minutes. Other times it might take a couple of days. It depends how deep the issue runs for you.
If it's not something that genuinely requires immediate attention and action, just let it be for a while. Don't fight it. Don't do much of anything. Give it time.
During this time relax your mind. Relax your heart. This will also help you to determine if this perceived threat is something that needs addressing, or something that's a mind threat.
It takes time and practice to get good at this. Each perceived threat is an opportunity to improve and grow. And what matters is that we all make an effort to improve and grow.
In peace and love,
Sarah
This happened to me yesterday. In fact, it's been happening a long time. It probably happens to all of us throughout our lives. Someone said something that it instantly triggered my fear response.
For me, at least at that moment, that internal reaction was one of not feeling good enough, not feeling loved, and fear of abandonment.
My ego mind was saying, "This is not good," "I need to do something about this," "I need to control this situation."
And a year ago I probably would have gone to "that place" and made an even bigger issue out of something really very small. But fortunately I've learned and grown a lot in the past year and was able to remind myself to just sit with it. Let myself feel the disturbance, as Michael Singer might suggest. Keep my heart open and let the fear pass right on out.
We're never going to be 100% free of fear. There will always be things, little and big, that pop up in our lives that elicit that immediate fear response. Sometimes they will be warranted, but other times it will just be our ego taking over and running out of habit. That is the precise time to let go of old fear-inducing habits and grow.
But back to the title of this post: "The Mind Threat." I realized yesterday as I was letting my fear pass through that there was no actual threat. It was in my mind.
Someone had said something and with just a single sentence, really a single word, my habitual fear response tied to that word was sparked.
Just because our fear response is set off, it doesn't necessarily mean there's something to be afraid of. It's important to remember that. That's why I call it the "mind threat." It's a threat that exists solely in our minds. Created by our past experiences and our egos.
What mind threats do you have?
Sometimes we may not even know what our mind threats are until something sets them off. Our minds are like a mine field. But when something does trigger a mind threat, just be aware of it. See what's going on. Sit with it. Just let it be.
That's how it will work its way out of your system. Notice it, but notice it for what it is. Not for what it isn't.
It isn't a real threat (first you must decide this, of course).
It isn't something you need to control.
It isn't something you need to push down, ignore, or stifle.
It's a part of you that you've been carrying around.
A part that doesn't serve your best interest or highest good.
A part that it's ok to let go of.
Knowing the difference between mind threats and actual threats is important. It's an ability you need to hone and grow. How do you know the difference?
First, get quiet, get still, and let it be. Don't immediately seek to do anything.
Sometimes it will be clear that it's a mind threat and not an actual threat within a few minutes. Other times it might take a couple of days. It depends how deep the issue runs for you.
If it's not something that genuinely requires immediate attention and action, just let it be for a while. Don't fight it. Don't do much of anything. Give it time.
During this time relax your mind. Relax your heart. This will also help you to determine if this perceived threat is something that needs addressing, or something that's a mind threat.
It takes time and practice to get good at this. Each perceived threat is an opportunity to improve and grow. And what matters is that we all make an effort to improve and grow.
In peace and love,
Sarah
Monday, May 19, 2014
What's Your Mess?
I'm reading a new book right now - "Everybody's Got Something," by Robin Roberts. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's very interesting and if you're looking for a motivational, inspirational book, I recommend this one!
One line (so far) really jumped out at me from the book. "Make your mess your message." Robin writes that that was something her mother used to say.
I think that's a profound way to live one's life. We all have "something." Whether we were abused as children (or adults), lived through foster homes, survived growing up with an alcoholic parent, had a spouse that left us, find out that we can't bear children... whatever that "something" is, we all have it. And instead of brushing it aside or trying to push it down or ignore it, why not make it your message?
I'm sure you've seen people whose lives are changed and shaped by a certain circumstance in their life. For example, parents whose child has a rare illness or disease make it their life's purpose and mission to raise money to try to find a cure. If they hadn't had the child they had, they likely never would have jumped into that cause.
I remember a convocation I attended when I was teaching. It was a guy who was born without arms or legs. That was his "mess" in his life. But he made it his message by touring the country and showing young people that they can do whatever they want in their lives, no matter what perceived limitations they may have to deal with along the way.
Your "mess" may not be as extensive as being born without limbs, or surviving an abusive childhood. Mine isn't. Mine, I believe, is that I've held such a wide variety of jobs in a variety of industries. More than anything else, it seems that's what makes me different from other people I meet.
When I meet someone new and we're having that common conversation of what you do for a living, my story inevitably includes a variety of things, or a comment about how "now" I am ______, but I "used to" ______. I've never had a simple answer to "What do you do?"
And when I tell people my story, briefly in that early conversation, the typical response I get is one of surprise or "Oh, I could never do that." Meaning, they could never switch jobs like I have, or switch career fields. Even if they're unhappy in what they're currently doing or have done in the past.
It's baffling to me, and I suspect some of my readers are more like me in that you DO understand how to "jump ship" and try something totally new and different. In fact, I know some of you have done just that. But the vast majority of the people in the world don't seem to be like that. They seem to get into a career or go down a job path, and stick with it. Through good times and bad. They just stay on the path they're on, or perhaps shift it very slightly.
Anyway... when I read that line in Robin Roberts' book, that's what came to mind for me. My "mess" is never having settled into a steady career path, and always feeling the desire and urge to do something new and different. Ever since college, I envied people who seemed to really fit into their chosen career path. They loved it. They were passionate about it. They got into it and stuck with it for the long-term. I've never felt that way. I've had many "false starts." Many careers and jobs along the way that I thought were "my path." Only to have that familiar urge to move on return a few weeks, months, or years later.
I'm realizing now that that is probably my message. My message that if I can do it, you can too. That you don't have to feel stuck in any job or career path. If you want to do something different, you can! That was part of my impetus when I started this blog. Because I wanted to share that message with as many people as I could.
I'm still working on how to hone it even more, and how to get my message out to even more people. But life is a work in progress. For everyone.
What's your "mess?" What is it about your life that is unique or challenging? The challenges are here to teach us something. And maybe part of what they're here to teach us is that it's our job to teach others, and help others who are going through the same thing.
So I'll ask again... What's your "mess?" How can you make it your message?
In peace and love,
Sarah
One line (so far) really jumped out at me from the book. "Make your mess your message." Robin writes that that was something her mother used to say.
I think that's a profound way to live one's life. We all have "something." Whether we were abused as children (or adults), lived through foster homes, survived growing up with an alcoholic parent, had a spouse that left us, find out that we can't bear children... whatever that "something" is, we all have it. And instead of brushing it aside or trying to push it down or ignore it, why not make it your message?
I'm sure you've seen people whose lives are changed and shaped by a certain circumstance in their life. For example, parents whose child has a rare illness or disease make it their life's purpose and mission to raise money to try to find a cure. If they hadn't had the child they had, they likely never would have jumped into that cause.
I remember a convocation I attended when I was teaching. It was a guy who was born without arms or legs. That was his "mess" in his life. But he made it his message by touring the country and showing young people that they can do whatever they want in their lives, no matter what perceived limitations they may have to deal with along the way.
Your "mess" may not be as extensive as being born without limbs, or surviving an abusive childhood. Mine isn't. Mine, I believe, is that I've held such a wide variety of jobs in a variety of industries. More than anything else, it seems that's what makes me different from other people I meet.
When I meet someone new and we're having that common conversation of what you do for a living, my story inevitably includes a variety of things, or a comment about how "now" I am ______, but I "used to" ______. I've never had a simple answer to "What do you do?"
And when I tell people my story, briefly in that early conversation, the typical response I get is one of surprise or "Oh, I could never do that." Meaning, they could never switch jobs like I have, or switch career fields. Even if they're unhappy in what they're currently doing or have done in the past.
It's baffling to me, and I suspect some of my readers are more like me in that you DO understand how to "jump ship" and try something totally new and different. In fact, I know some of you have done just that. But the vast majority of the people in the world don't seem to be like that. They seem to get into a career or go down a job path, and stick with it. Through good times and bad. They just stay on the path they're on, or perhaps shift it very slightly.
Anyway... when I read that line in Robin Roberts' book, that's what came to mind for me. My "mess" is never having settled into a steady career path, and always feeling the desire and urge to do something new and different. Ever since college, I envied people who seemed to really fit into their chosen career path. They loved it. They were passionate about it. They got into it and stuck with it for the long-term. I've never felt that way. I've had many "false starts." Many careers and jobs along the way that I thought were "my path." Only to have that familiar urge to move on return a few weeks, months, or years later.
I'm realizing now that that is probably my message. My message that if I can do it, you can too. That you don't have to feel stuck in any job or career path. If you want to do something different, you can! That was part of my impetus when I started this blog. Because I wanted to share that message with as many people as I could.
I'm still working on how to hone it even more, and how to get my message out to even more people. But life is a work in progress. For everyone.
What's your "mess?" What is it about your life that is unique or challenging? The challenges are here to teach us something. And maybe part of what they're here to teach us is that it's our job to teach others, and help others who are going through the same thing.
So I'll ask again... What's your "mess?" How can you make it your message?
In peace and love,
Sarah
Thursday, May 15, 2014
"I Want To" vs. "I Should"
Do you often struggle with what you WANT to do versus what you feel you SHOULD do? I think it's certainly a normal part of life. And unfortunately, it seems, our "wants" don't always match up to our "shoulds."
This has been a point of struggle for me in recent years. I still don't have the answer. I'm still trying to balance following my heart, my passion, and my interests... and being "smart" and responsible.
For example: I WANT to be a full-time fiction writer. And I SHOULD work a full-time job with a steady paycheck.
I'm still hoping that one day those two will merge. One day my fiction writing WILL provide the steady, abundant paycheck I need to live on. But the present reality is, it doesn't.
What dreams, desires, goals, or wants do you have for yourself that currently conflict with your shoulds? How are you dealing with that?
I believe in the power of our thoughts. I believe that what we think, eventually comes to pass, in one way or another. That's why I'm so reticent to "resign" myself to thinking, "Oh, I just have to work a steady job for that steady paycheck." I know there are other ways to make a living than working a steady, traditional job. So I continue to work on my thoughts and beliefs around that matter.
Likewise, HOW we think about something can make all the difference.
I "should" just keep working at my job, bringing in the steady paycheck, enjoying the benefits.
I WANT to continue working at my job so I CAN bring in the steady paycheck and pay all my bills!
Call me crazy, but I like having a house to live in. I like having a car to drive. I like cable television, cell phones, and internet. I also like to eat, and I like to provide for my animals. These LIKES require money to fund them. And I LIKE making money. My money SOURCE right now is my traditional job. I'm grateful for it. I'm thankful I HAVE a job that allows me to have these things I like and want.
It wasn't too long ago that that wasn't the case. Just 3 months ago I didn't have a job. I was on the tail end of my "copywriting career," if you could call it that. It never got off the ground, really. I made a go of it, it didn't work out, and that's just how it is. I was nearly out of savings and had no clue what I would do for money after I ran out. Then came this job.
I was ecstatic when I got it. I wrote a post on that too. I have noticed myself, though, slipping back into the "have to" of my job. I "have to" go to work. I "have to" do ______.
Remember though, it's all about HOW we think about stuff and the words we use. Words carry feeling behind them.
I "have to" go to work can become "I WANT to go to work because I LIKE receiving the paycheck every other Friday, and I LIKE watching my savings go UP instead of down!"
I'm still going to piggy-back on my post yesterday and say that I believe we should all continue following our hearts and pursuing our passions. Giving up on your passions, stopping chasing your dreams, that's virtually the end of LIFE if you ask me. At least the end of the fun part of life!
So don't give up your dreams. Don't stop pursuing what you ultimately would LOVE to do with and in your life. But also practice being grateful for what you have and where you are RIGHT NOW.
It's all a stepping stone. Your place in life as you read this isn't (most likely) your final spot. It's not the end of the road, the last stop on the train. The road goes on. Farther than the eye can see. The train has more stops. Just hang on. Keep going.
Appreciate your present station in life, and USE it to get to the next station.
Enjoy the ride! WANT to live your life to the fullest and WANT to be your best self, wherever you are!
Peace and love to you.
Sarah
This has been a point of struggle for me in recent years. I still don't have the answer. I'm still trying to balance following my heart, my passion, and my interests... and being "smart" and responsible.
For example: I WANT to be a full-time fiction writer. And I SHOULD work a full-time job with a steady paycheck.
I'm still hoping that one day those two will merge. One day my fiction writing WILL provide the steady, abundant paycheck I need to live on. But the present reality is, it doesn't.
What dreams, desires, goals, or wants do you have for yourself that currently conflict with your shoulds? How are you dealing with that?
I believe in the power of our thoughts. I believe that what we think, eventually comes to pass, in one way or another. That's why I'm so reticent to "resign" myself to thinking, "Oh, I just have to work a steady job for that steady paycheck." I know there are other ways to make a living than working a steady, traditional job. So I continue to work on my thoughts and beliefs around that matter.
Likewise, HOW we think about something can make all the difference.
I "should" just keep working at my job, bringing in the steady paycheck, enjoying the benefits.
I WANT to continue working at my job so I CAN bring in the steady paycheck and pay all my bills!
Call me crazy, but I like having a house to live in. I like having a car to drive. I like cable television, cell phones, and internet. I also like to eat, and I like to provide for my animals. These LIKES require money to fund them. And I LIKE making money. My money SOURCE right now is my traditional job. I'm grateful for it. I'm thankful I HAVE a job that allows me to have these things I like and want.
It wasn't too long ago that that wasn't the case. Just 3 months ago I didn't have a job. I was on the tail end of my "copywriting career," if you could call it that. It never got off the ground, really. I made a go of it, it didn't work out, and that's just how it is. I was nearly out of savings and had no clue what I would do for money after I ran out. Then came this job.
I was ecstatic when I got it. I wrote a post on that too. I have noticed myself, though, slipping back into the "have to" of my job. I "have to" go to work. I "have to" do ______.
Remember though, it's all about HOW we think about stuff and the words we use. Words carry feeling behind them.
I "have to" go to work can become "I WANT to go to work because I LIKE receiving the paycheck every other Friday, and I LIKE watching my savings go UP instead of down!"
I'm still going to piggy-back on my post yesterday and say that I believe we should all continue following our hearts and pursuing our passions. Giving up on your passions, stopping chasing your dreams, that's virtually the end of LIFE if you ask me. At least the end of the fun part of life!
So don't give up your dreams. Don't stop pursuing what you ultimately would LOVE to do with and in your life. But also practice being grateful for what you have and where you are RIGHT NOW.
It's all a stepping stone. Your place in life as you read this isn't (most likely) your final spot. It's not the end of the road, the last stop on the train. The road goes on. Farther than the eye can see. The train has more stops. Just hang on. Keep going.
Appreciate your present station in life, and USE it to get to the next station.
Enjoy the ride! WANT to live your life to the fullest and WANT to be your best self, wherever you are!
Peace and love to you.
Sarah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)