Have you ever had a dream, a passion... pursued it... and it wasn't what you expected?
I've experienced that.
When I worked my last full-time job, two years ago, all I wanted to do was write.
I wrote the majority of my first novel while I still had a full-time job.
I loved writing so much, and I was sure I could "make it" as a writer, I quit that full-time job back in May of 2011.
I was a full-time writer.
Now I'm questioning if that is truly the career path for me.
Writing is still an interest. Still something I intend on pursuing, on doing. But once I added the pressure of having to make a living as a writer... I noticed a shift. I no longer wanted to write. I felt like I had to write.
So for the past week and a half, I've been seeking traditional employment again.
And honestly, I'm more surprised than anyone that I actually want a traditional, full-time job again. I never thought I would. I never thought I'd "go back."
But I don't think of it as "going back." I'm moving forward. I'm growing. Growing up.
It's funny, but I felt it distinctly a couple weeks ago. Like in that moment, that very second, I grew up.
I've always been a late bloomer.
I'm 36 and just now getting married (I've never felt ready for that committment before).
And I'm 36 and just now feeling ready for a full-time, real, grown-up job.
I remember my first job out of college. I was a 6th grade teacher. I often felt like a kid doing a grown up's job.
Now I feel like a grown up. I've been excited looking for full-time jobs. I'm excited about the future again.