Thursday, January 16, 2014

Living your Dream is HARD!

Don't be fooled.  It's not always sunshine and rainbows when you're living your dream.

It's normal to have down days and rough times.

You know those moments (or entire days).  You're feeling so low, you don't even know if it's worth it to even continue trying to reach your dream, you consider throwing in the towel and going back to what you know, and what's "easy."

I've been there.  I'm actually sorta there right now, as I type this.

I am happy when others succeed.  I'm happy when others make tons of money, get great rewards and awards, and are recognized.

Really, I am.

And there's also the part of me that's wondering, "When's it gonna be MY turn?!"

I have 4 novels currently published.  And I still get excited to see just one purchase per month.  One!  How about 50?  Or 100?  Or, dare I say, 1,000 buyers of my book?!

I've started writing more non-fiction and working with business clients.  I say "started" because just today I had my first conversation directly with a potential client.  And just today I pushed the "publish" button to publish my non-fiction book on dog fostering on Amazon.  (It should be live in a few days.)

So I'm doing things.  But the results are slow coming.  And sometimes that gets hard.

I just bought a new car yesterday.  Well, new for me.  A used 2009 model.  It's nice though, and I really like it.

The reason I bought a car yesterday is because my old car was having more and more issues starting.  Anytime I went anywhere, I knew it was increasingly likely that I'd be stranded there.

So, it was time.  Time to let that car go.  *tear*  It was the first car I ever bought... a 2002 Hyundai Sonata.  It was my gift to myself upon graduating college.  I had that car for 12 years!

But this post isn't about buying new cars.  I spent the money I had set aside for a new car.  Even though it was ear-marked for a car, it was still the largest chunk of my savings.  Seeing it go bye-bye was a tough pill to swallow.

A leap into the abyss.

Stepping even further out onto that skinny little branch that may snap at any moment.

My savings are now dangerously low.  My "car fund" was my major back-up, financially speaking, should an emergency arise.  Now it's gone.

And today I had a conversation with a potentially big client, and published a new, potentially successful ebook.  Coincidence?

I really do believe what the quote above states.  It's what I proclaim and profess to anyone who'll listen... especially people who are currently unhappy in their jobs, relationships, or life in general.

DO what you want to do with your life.  What are you waiting for?

I'd like to touch on one more thing that I came across today.

It was advice from Jeff Goins.  To paraphrase, he said to not focus on the money.

I know that's certainly easy to say when you don't need money.  Believe me, I'm there too.

But many people go about life seeking the rewards of money, fame, or recognition.  What they then do, is either watered down, or not really them.  It's what they think others want or need from them.

Have you caught yourself doing that?  Living that way?

I know I have.  Take this blog, for instance.  When I started, I pretty much just wrote what was on my mind.  I let a lot of stuff fly, and I think I connected to a lot of people because of it.  But as my audience grew, and I started to really "get serious" about making a living as a writer, I started to reevaluate what I was doing and putting out into the world.

This could be a mistake.

I was trying to do and be what I thought would bring in the money.

What if all you have to do is be you and the money will come on its own?


Thursday, January 9, 2014

What Real Love Means

I've been focusing a lot on work and career lately in this blog.  Today I'd like to shift the focus a little, to love and relationships.

I was watching "The Biggest Loser" this week and was totally inspired.  (I often am watching that show, but this time it was for a different reason.)

One of the contestants (I don't remember his name... I often don't remember contestant's names in any of the reality shows I watch), lost his wife years ago.  They had had two children together.  They were very much in love.  She got sick and passed on.

Then some time later he met a new woman.  They fell in love too, got married, and to date have one child together.

Watching about this second wife, and hearing this man talk about her, totally blew me away.

She came into this man's life, completely, 100% full of love.  

Here was this guy, who lost his first love tragically -- they didn't divorce, they didn't have a "bad break-up," there was no bad blood there or bad times whatsoever.  The man still loved his first wife, even after her death.  He said on the show that he always will.

He also has two children from the first wife, who will always be reminders of their relationship and their love.
For most people, this would be a difficult situation to walk into and become a part of.  And granted, this is a TV show, so I realize they don't tell the whole story.

But this man talked about how his current wife came into their lives and brought the love with her.

She worked with the family to remember the children's mother fondly.

She didn't compare herself, get jealous, try to "take over."  She loved the circumstances for what they were.  She knew there was no need for comparison.  Her role was different.

I know I may be hypothesizing here, but that's ok.  This woman is an inspiration.  A model of love and compassion.  And I learned something from her by watching the clip on the TV show.

There is no reason to be jealous of anyone else.  To be insecure.  To compare yourself to someone else.

We're all different.  And we're ALL Love.

We all are right where we're supposed to be.  With who we're supposed to be with.

We all have lessons to learn, areas to grow in, and ways we can improve.

But ultimately, our only job is to be ourselves... and that self is 100% Love.

I have a quote on the board in my bathroom that says, "What would Love do?"

I forget who said it, but it's a great reminder.

We all have egos, and sometimes those egos can get out of control.  They can try to take over and run our lives.  When that happens, just remind yourself to let it go (whatever "it" is), relax, and tap back into the Love center of yourself.

When you find yourself acting in fear -- and any action that comes from any place of insecurity or negative emotions is fear -- ask yourself the question, "What would Love do?"

Then do that.  


Monday, January 6, 2014

Know When to Hold 'Em, Know When to Fold 'Em

I was never a big fan of the song, "The Gambler."  But as I listen to it now (literally, listening to it via YouTube as I type this), it's pretty great life advice...

"You've got to know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away,
And know when to run."

Those are the lyrics everyone knows.  But as the song goes on, it says this too:

"Every gambler knows the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away, 
And knowin' what to keep.
'Cause every hand's a winner.  
And every hand's a loser." 

"Every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser."

It's all in how you play the game.  What you do with the cards you're dealt.  And it's not always easy to know what to do with what's in your hand.

That's where I'm at now.  And I feel like I'm not very good at knowing what to throw away and what to keep.

It's kind of funny that I'm using this analogy, and that's it's so applicable, because I've never even liked playing cards (until the game, Phase 10, which I love, but that's beside the matter).

Sometimes I feel like I keep trying different things, and nothing quite pans out.

Take my current career... of lack thereof at the moment.

I made the jump to being a full-time writer two and a half years ago.  I wrote fiction novels to start (it was my dream).  When I wasn't making a living from my fiction novels, I turned to copywriting... and more of a "business" side of writing.  I learned a lot, read a lot, and was excited.  But that hasn't gone as I thought it would either.    

Maybe I give up too easily.  Maybe I jump ship too soon.

I admit, I want things to be easy.  There, I said it.  I'm not afraid of hard work, I'm just getting tired with putting in effort and time and not seeing any positive results.

I apologize now if this post comes across as a bit of a rant.  But it's where I'm at at the moment.  I don't know what to do.  Hold 'em, or fold 'em?  Walk away, or run?  Or stick it out?

I don't have the answer yet.  I'm sure it'll come to me in time.


For the time being, the only "answer" I have is to keep going.

One sure-fired way NOT to live the life of your dreams is to not even try.  To give up.

I'm not giving up... and I hope you don't either.  No one said this journey called life was going to be easy.        

* Addendum:
As I was reading through this post before publishing it, a reminder came to mind.

Be grateful.  

I've been focusing on what I don't have, instead of what I do have.

I have a nice house that I love.  I have a supportive and loving fiance.  I have great family and friends.  I have money in the bank.

I'm just scared and unsure... that's all.  I don't know how the future will play out.  None of us do.  And I suppose sometimes that just gets to me.  The uncertainty of it.

Where will money come from after I use up what I have?  I  don't know.

That's the fear that's rising up within me and what drove the post above.

What I do know is it's always worked out in the past.  Always.  Every time.  Time to put my trust in that force again.

** Wherever you are in your life journey, I'd love to hear about it!  Post comments below, or feel free to email me privately and directly at  I read every email and will respond.

In peace and Love,