I just watched the pilot episode of "The Black Box," a new drama TV show on, I think it's ABC. Have you seen it? I found it superbly interesting and thought-provoking. The main thought it stirred up in me is, "Are we all crazy?"
At least a little crazy?
Do we all have thoughts that are outside the "norm?" Whatever that norm is for us - where we live, with the people and circumstances that surround us?
I'm pretty sure the answer to these questions is yes. So why do we all try so hard to hide our crazy? Why do we try so hard to "blend in" and fit the mold? To be who and what others expect us to be?
Because we want to fit in. We want to be accepted. And we all want to meet and know people who are like us. So we make an effort to be like other people, or to find common connections.
Fine. That's all good. But at what point does that trying to fit in stifle our inner genius? Stifle our true spirit? Stifle the greatness we are capable of becoming?
I don't have the answer to that question. It's a fine line though. Do you toe the line? Or are you so far back from the line you can barely see it? Are you afraid of the line? And what's on the other side?
I am. Afraid of what's on the other side, that is. It's unknown. Unpredictable. Will making a certain choice make our life better or worse?
Life is certainly not a clear cut path.
Today I also read the latest article/blog post by Henri Junttila. I highly recommend it. Henri has some great insights on life. He has a gift, for sure.
But anyway, in his most recent article, he touches on several aspects of life, and building the life you want. One of which is that life isn't a straight shot. It's full of twists and turns. That's nature. It's us humans who try to force everything into straight, clearly defined paths. Boxes. Boundaries. Rules. Restrictions.
We try to make "sense" of everything. Try to predict the future. "If I do this, will he/she/the Universe do that?" We try too hard to make the best choices and best decisions, so to set ourselves up for happiness and peace later.
This alone can drive one crazy.
I think when we try to force ourselves into these boxes and live by the expectations of others, we stifle our own passion. Our true, inner Spirit. And it sometimes takes a lifetime for a person to step out of those boxes and let go of trying to be "good enough" for someone else. To let yourself be YOU, crazy and all.
It is scary though, isn't it? We still want what we want. Whether that's a certain career, a solid relationship, children. Whatever it is, there's the fear in our minds that if we let out too much of the crazy... if we give in to that voice too much... we'll lose whatever it is we want.
We're afraid of wrecking things for ourselves. Of screwing up. Of not being in control.
Again, I wish I had the answer to all of this. A formula for how exactly to behave, in order to achieve everything.
But life is nothing if not a risk. Sure, some say that's what makes it fun. Me, I'd rather know the future outcomes of the actions I'm considering taking.
I'm not talking anything specific here, but generally. I don't like surprises. I believe we all make the best decisions we can with what we know and have at that present moment. But sometimes we learn something a month later, a week later, or a minute later, that had we known that when we were making our choice, it would have altered things greatly.
This is what I'm talking about. Life can flip on a dime. Here's where I feel inclined to type all the standard responses... "Yes, that's why it's important to live in the moment." .... "Don't worry about the past or future, live now, it's all we have." ... "Appreciate what you have right now, don't take it for granted." ... Etc.
Life is a game, ultimately. We're all trying to figure out what's the best move to make, what card to play. We can win big, and we can lose big. Or we can play it "safe," whatever "safe" means to you.
Clearly I'm in a contemplative mood right now. I'm telling you, check out "The Black Box," and leave a comment with your thoughts. I'm eager to hear them!
Another thing that immediately puts me in a contemplative mood is the song, My Immortal, by Evanescence. I'm listening to it on repeat as I type this post.
But back to the post... I think we all have so many parts of ourselves. Conflicting desires. Conflicting standards. That's what makes me feel "crazy" at times, I don't know about you. When I want one thing, and another, totally contradictory thing, at the same time. When I know something isn't "good" or "right," yet I find that I want to do it anyway.
I guess the song, "Choices," by George Jones is true, and it's a universal part of all our lives... "Living and dying with the choices I've made."