My grandma passed away one week ago today. February 13, 2015.
She was the person in this world I could count on the most. Above all others.
As a child, she was the one who cared for me when my mother would be out of town or working. As I grew up, I went to Mamaw's house on a regular basis because I was most comfortable and felt most at home with her.
She was one of my best friends for 37 years...and now she is gone from this world. Physically-speaking anyway. I know she is still with me spiritually, and always will be. That brings me comfort.
The point of this post today, though, is to share that since my grandma passed, I now feel like a "grown up."
While she was living, I always knew I could go to her if I needed anything. I could always count on her support, including financially, if needed.
Not that I relied on her a lot, but she did take care of me in many ways throughout my life. And now that she is gone, it's on me. It's time I step up to the plate of adulthood and take care of myself. Fully.
Yesterday I finished the online course, and first step, towards getting my real estate broker's license. I take the state exam next week and already know a couple of people who plan on buying or selling their home in the next few months, so hopefully that will mean business for me.
I still think about my novels. I have one that is nearly finished, and has been since December. I put it on the back burner when I shifted my focus to real estate, and then the last weeks of my grandma when she needed more care and attention.
I still wonder if I could "make it" as a fiction novelist. And I still do not know the answer. I continue to have book sales, though minimal, even while doing no promoting or marketing for my books. There is a definite part of me that is sad about "giving up" on that dream. Not that I've given up entirely, but I feel the need to do something else...something more "traditional" to earn an income. I can still write on the side.
I have no idea what the future holds. All I know is with the passing of my beloved Mamaw, I feel like my childhood is finally passed as well. Time to grow up. Take some real responsibility for my life. And steer myself in the best direction I can.
I'd love to hear about your defining moments of adulthood. What happened in your life that made you feel like childhood was finally, once and for all, over? Or what brought childhoood back for you?
In Peace and Love,