Our Greatest Teachers Are Those We Least Expect

I was reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" just now and a thought struck me so profoundly that I was compelled to put the book down and write this blog post.

"When you are no longer totally identified with forms, consciousness -- who you are -- becomes freed from its imprisonment in form. This freedom is the arising of inner space. It comes as a stillness, a subtle peace deep within you." (p. 226)

That was exactly what I was reading when the following thought popped into my mind:

The people you don't like or have a difficult time accepting are the very ones who are here to make you a better person. 

Not quite sure how the Tolle passage and my thought are related, but they seem to be somehow.

But anyway, I've been struggling lately with this one particular individual. This person has the unique ability to get to me like no one else. I have thought many times, if I never see or hear of this person again in my entire life, that would be wonderful!

But at the same time I know this person is in my life for a reason. A purpose. Even though I would say I don't particularly like this person. Even though I feel this person causes me way more stress and anxiety than anything or anyone else. Even so...this person is most definitely in my life for me. A gift from the Universe, nonetheless.

So how would someone who ignites such stress and unpleasant feelings make me a better person?

By teaching me patience. Acceptance. Understanding of those different from me. A reminder that life is a symphony and everyone has a part to play. Even the person playing the triangle.

When the thought popped into my mind, I was awash in a sudden sense of peace. And as I type this, I feel even more overcome by that peace.

I know full well that I've been causing my own suffering by focusing so intently on how much I dislike this person and how much I wish they were not in my life. Yet, even though I know that... I still did it. I still got pulled into that ego black hole. Where I have resided for the past couple of days (most recently).

My mind searched for ways to get this person out of my life. My thoughts went round and round about why is this person in my life? Why are they doing this to me? As if it was all about me in the first place.

I can look back at my interactions with this individual and see that I haven't behaved the best. I haven't been mean to them, mind you... I've done the best I could at each moment. But underneath it all was the feeling that I didn't want them there.

This is just one person, you say. How can one person stir up so much inner turmoil? Why couldn't I just forget about them? Avoid them?

Because my mind wouldn't let me.

I've also been thinking a lot of the part in "The Untethered Soul," by Michael Singer where he talks about the thorn in the person's arm. How the thorn is very painful and troublesome, and so the person goes to great lengths to avoid hitting this painful thorn in their arm. When all along the person just needed to remove the thorn.

Michael Singer explains that's how it is with any problem in our life. We often tend to try to avoid the problem, push it down, work around it. But what we really need to do to ease the pain and suffering is  remove our obsession with it. Stop revolving our life around this thorn in our arm (our stress, pain, anxiety) and instead let go of the stress/anxiety.

Back to the title of this post. Our greatest teachers are often those we least expect. Sure, we can learn many positive traits from amazing people who we love. But we can often learn even more from the people we don't like. The people we wish we didn't have to deal with.

We learn about ourselves. And we grow as humans. If we let ourselves. If we open up and truly get the lesson that each person is here to teach us.

In Peace and Love,
Sarah

                                     

Welcome to Adulthood

My grandma passed away one week ago today. February 13, 2015.

She was the person in this world I could count on the most. Above all others.

As a child, she was the one who cared for me when my mother would be out of town or working. As I grew up, I went to Mamaw's house on a regular basis because I was most comfortable and felt most at home with her.

She was one of my best friends for 37 years...and now she is gone from this world. Physically-speaking anyway. I know she is still with me spiritually, and always will be. That brings me comfort.

The point of this post today, though, is to share that since my grandma passed, I now feel like a "grown up."

While she was living, I always knew I could go to her if I needed anything. I could always count on her support, including financially, if needed.

Not that I relied on her a lot, but she did take care of me in many ways throughout my life. And now that she is gone, it's on me. It's time I step up to the plate of adulthood and take care of myself. Fully.

Yesterday I finished the online course, and first step, towards getting my real estate broker's license. I take the state exam next week and already know a couple of people who plan on buying or selling their home in the next few months, so hopefully that will mean business for me.

I still think about my novels. I have one that is nearly finished, and has been since December. I put it on the back burner when I shifted my focus to real estate, and then the last weeks of my grandma when she needed more care and attention.

I still wonder if I could "make it" as a fiction novelist. And I still do not know the answer. I continue to have book sales, though minimal, even while doing no promoting or marketing for my books. There is a definite part of me that is sad about "giving up" on that dream. Not that I've given up entirely, but I feel the need to do something else...something more "traditional" to earn an income. I can still write on the side.

I have no idea what the future holds.  All I know is with the passing of my beloved Mamaw, I feel like my childhood is finally passed as well. Time to grow up. Take some real responsibility for my life. And steer myself in the best direction I can.

I'd love to hear about your defining moments of adulthood. What happened in your life that made you feel like childhood was finally, once and for all, over?  Or what brought childhoood back for you?

In Peace and Love,
Sarah

Take a Step and the Next Step Will Appear

I got further proof today that the Universe WILL take care of you (me). All you have to do is take the first step.... then the next step will appear.

                             

                               


Yesterday was my last official day at my part-time job. I had previously taken a smaller leap of faith by requesting to go from full-time to part-time back in August. That was good enough for a while... until it wasn't.

I just had a feeling that the job was keeping me from other opportunities, or other dreams from coming true. As long as I kept the job, and the steady paycheck it offered, I wasn't fully trusting the Universe. I was holding myself back.

So, as I said, yesterday I submitted my final timesheet to my supervisor. And today I got a follow-up email about an at-home job that I applied for nearly a year ago!

I applied for this job at the same time as I applied for the job I just quit. This other job is for an at-home scorer of standardized tests. It's perfect for me. I would get to work from home, and do something I enjoy doing (grading/scoring). Even when I worked as a teacher, I always enjoyed grading papers (something many teachers abhor).

Well, I applied for the job in January or February of 2014 and never heard... until now.

I don't have the job just yet. What I got in the email was an invitation to take an employment survey to see if I still qualify for the job and if I'm a good candidate. I submitted the survey. We will see.

The scoring position is very flexible and won't preclude me from pursuing other interests. It's also short-term. I could basically do as much or as little as I wanted, and would get paid in relation to how much I scored.

Yesterday I was really struggling with the status of my life right now. I'm 37 and feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. Even though it's been 100% my choice to leave former jobs and try something new... and I've never regretted any of those decisions (until recently), I find myself at this point in my life feeling envious of people who've been in their careers for years and are considered experts in their fields.

I'm definitely a jack-of-all-trades and expert of none, as they say.

And as I said, that was fine with me... until now.

The lesson I got today was that it's not too late. New opportunities WILL present themselves. The Universe will continue to provide for me. All I have to do is take a step when I feel it's time. And the next step will come into focus.

                                        

Forgiveness - Part 1

I started reading Iyanla Vanzant's book, "Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything" last night. Already I can tell this will be an amazingly healing book for me and a great learning and growing tool.

It inspired me so much, I wanted to write this blog post to share what I've learned so far... just 22 pages in.

"Regardless of how hard, painful, etc. an experience may seem, everything is exactly as it needs to be for us to heal, grow, and learn."

That was the first quote that jumped off the page at me.

Regardless of how hard, painful, etc..... Everything is exactly as it needs to be...

Everything.

We've all had tough times. Experiences where we feel life is incredibly unfair or people are treating us with total disregard and disrespect. I've been there too. But it's essential, for our present and future well-being, peace, and happiness, to remind ourselves that no matter what, it's all happening for us, and for the greatest good for everyone.

"The moment we determine what is, should not be, we are denying the presence of love. Love is always present, surrounding us, guiding, growing, and teaching us."

 I had to read that sentence a few times to get the emphasis in the right places and understand it correctly.

Basically, as soon as we decide, in all our great wisdom (hear the sarcasm there), that what happened, or how things are, shouldn't be that way... we are denying the Love that is there for us in that experience.

We usually cannot see the "grand plan" of the Universe. And when we attempt to fight reality, we are robbing ourselves of peace and happiness.

That is not what the Universe intends for any of us.

"Forgiveness leads to acceptance. Acceptance means you know, regardless of what happened, that there's something bigger than you at work. It also means you know you are okay and you'll continue to be okay." 

I'm not always good with acceptance. I want things the way I want them. The way I think they should be. Admittedly, I've spent way too much time fighting with reality the past few years.

I'm afraid if things don't go the way I think they should, then I won't be ok. Then things will fall apart. People will leave. I'll be hurt.

I know that's not true, intellectually. But the fear is still there. 

I am hoping Iyanla's book will help show me how to improve in this area. Teach me how to accept more and forgive more. (I think it will and I'm excited to keep reading!)

                                   

                                             

                                        

New Year! Welcome 2015!!

Welcome 2015!! 

I don't know about you, but I am STOKED for 2015! I have a feeling that it will be an awesome year! What are your desires and intentions for the year ahead?

I created a vision board for 2015 and put it on the wall over my bed (replacing the previous one that I had made in February of 2014). I also made a written list, which I called "Desires and Intentions for 2015." I found it extremely helpful to get clear on exactly WHAT I want in my life for this year. And I will admit, some of what came up for me were somewhat surprising.

What we want for ourselves in our lives often changes over time. As we go through life, new desires and interests come to the surface. It's ok to shift our focus and follow those new passions.

The question I've been wrestling with is how do you know if you should stick with a current, or past passion, or move on?  

                                     

I don't have the answer to that question, but I think the quote above says it best. If you feel stuck, stagnant, or unhappy, that's usually a clue that you need to move on or at the very least change something.

As I like to do, I'll share a bit of my personal experience.

I've been working hard on writing fiction novels for the past six months. In that time I have published three new novels (part of a series), and the fourth one is nearly finished. I even have the fifth book in that series already in my head. But for some reason, something shifted inside me around mid-December. I lost motivation to write.

I'm not sure what it is, but I felt the need to make a change. Real estate came to my mind.

I've toyed with becoming a realtor for years, but the timing never felt right. Now it feels right.

What does this mean for my path as a novelist? I don't know. The past several days I've struggled with the idea of maybe I should stick with writing. Maybe I'm on the verge of "my breakthrough" and should keep forging ahead. Am I making a mistake by shifting my focus now?

Who knows. All I do know is my motivation and energy has taken a definite turn. And as Wayne Dyer says, "Follow the energy."

                                 

Do what you feel drawn to do. What ignites a passion, an interest, inside you.

For me, right now, that's real estate. Will it change? Maybe, maybe not.

What will happen with my writing in the future? I don't know that either. I have a feeling that I'll write and publish more novels. I still feel that inside of me. The interest is still there, it's just shifting.

Finding the courage to follow your shifting passions is the key. Not everyone has that courage. But bottom line, it's your life to lead. However you want.

What will YOU do with your life? What will you do with the next twelve months and this brand new year we've all been given?

I'd love to hear more about your desires and intentions for your life! Leave a comment below, or look me up on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/sarahnoel500).

Whatever you choose to do, may you have an awesome start to 2015!

-- Sarah

Where do You Bloom the Most?

I was sitting outside on my back deck recently and noticed this big pot of flowers.  I had planted some begonias in a big pot and it had been sitting on my front porch so far all year. It was doing alright... a handful of blooms, about half full of foliage. But about half the pot was empty. Nothing was growing there.

Then one day it hit me that maybe the flowers would prefer more shade than they get on my front porch. So I moved them to the back deck, where they are in shade most of the day. And you know what? They really took off!

Now the entire pot is filled with green foliage and there are many blooms!

I realized people are the same way. You may do "alright" in one location, at one job, in one relationship... but you may really bloom if given the best conditions for you and your individual spirit.

It's definitely true for me. I recently switched from full-time to part-time at my traditional job. And my boss even told me that the part-time position will likely be temporary, as long as they're as busy as they are now, because they don't usually carry part-time positions.

But anyway, when I was working full-time, I was doing alright. I fulfilled my obligations at my job. I worked on my novels when I could. It "worked," but at the same time I knew I wasn't being as good as I could be. I wasn't blooming as much as was possible for me to bloom.

I was short-changing my traditional job because I didn't want to be there and didn't want to be spending my time doing that. And I was short-changing my novel writing because I couldn't give it as much time as I wanted to.

Little by little I grew increasingly unhappy and discontent. I knew I had to make a change. I felt bad because I'd only had my job for about four and a half months. But still, I knew what I needed to do. And I found the courage to do it.

I went into my boss's office one day and we had a long talk. I explained how I wasn't happy and I needed to make a change. And even though the company basically never has part-time positions, she offered to let me stay on part-time, as long as they could financially support the position.

So see, sometimes things that "never" happen, DO happen. You might not expect a certain thing to go your way, or to unfold as you'd like, but you might just be surprised.

The reason I decided to stay on part-time is for the stable paycheck (albeit a small one), while I'm still building up my novel base and readership.

But now I am much happier and I'm blooming! I've noticed that story ideas for novels are overflowing in my brain right now. When I sit down to work on my current book, I can easily write 5,000 words or more in a day, if given the time. And more importantly, I feel on the right track.

How are you blooming in your life? Are the buds and flowers overflowing? Are you living up to your potential? If not, where could you make a change, however small?

Pay attention to the conditions of your life. They make a HUGE difference in the to which you soar.

May you soar to great heights and reach your highest potential!

In Peace and Love,
Sarah

The Universe Knows You Deserve Love

At a seminar about positivity, the Universe, and Love, the seminar leader said this:

"If you don't believe you deserve Love, at least believe that the Universe believes you deserve Love."

Or something to that effect.

Many of us, at times, don't believe we're worthy of love, success, happiness... fill in the blank.  I certainly fall into that group.

I've noticed something interesting lately.  I am getting married in one week.  I'm very excited about it and looking forward not just to the wedding, but being married.  I have no doubts about that.  What I do doubt is whether I'm worthy of that kind of love.

It's tough to admit and I feel a certain sense of shame even in admitting I feel that way.  My hope is that this post will touch someone else, and others can relate.

When we feel unworthy of something, I think it's a natural inclination to hide.  To not tell others we feel unworthy.  There can be shame in admitting you feel unworthy, when logically, you know better.
But these feelings of unworthiness aren't born out of logic.

For years I've struggled with feelings of worthiness, in different areas of life.  I see now, looking back, that it was quite possibly those feelings that stifled my success, but at the time I didn't realize that.

Interestingly to me, these feelings seem to be coming to the surface a lot more now, the closer I get to my wedding day.

You see, in order to receive from the Universe what we desire, we have to believe we will get it.  And if we ultimately don't believe we deserve something, it can be hard to believe we'll get it anyway.

I think this holds a lot of people back -- in relationships, with money, in any aspect of life.  In order to get what you desire, start with changing your belief about deserving it.

Back to the opening quote.  It really hit home with me.  It's easy for me to look at other people, my pets, all living things really, and know they deserve to be loved and deserve all that is good in life.  They deserve it just because they're here.  But what about me?

Why am I different?  Why do I have such a hard time believing I deserve great love, great wealth, and an abundance of all that is good in life?  I could come up with lots of theories to answer that question, but really it doesn't matter why.

Instead of belaboring the point of, "Do I deserve Love, wealth, etc.," point out to myself that the Universe knows I deserve Love, wealth, etc.

For some reason, putting it outside of myself makes it easier to accept.  While it can be hard to believe something about myself, it's easier to believe in something that someone else (especially the Universe) knows/thinks/believes.

I encourage you to look at your own life.  What areas of your life do you feel unworthy?  If that's not clear, what areas of your life do you not have what you want?  That is likely an area where you feel unworthy, but may not identify it as feelings of unworthiness.

In Peace and Love,

Sarah