Living your Dream is HARD!

Don't be fooled.  It's not always sunshine and rainbows when you're living your dream.

It's normal to have down days and rough times.

You know those moments (or entire days).  You're feeling so low, you don't even know if it's worth it to even continue trying to reach your dream, you consider throwing in the towel and going back to what you know, and what's "easy."

I've been there.  I'm actually sorta there right now, as I type this.

I am happy when others succeed.  I'm happy when others make tons of money, get great rewards and awards, and are recognized.

Really, I am.

And there's also the part of me that's wondering, "When's it gonna be MY turn?!"

I have 4 novels currently published.  And I still get excited to see just one purchase per month.  One!  How about 50?  Or 100?  Or, dare I say, 1,000 buyers of my book?!

I've started writing more non-fiction and working with business clients.  I say "started" because just today I had my first conversation directly with a potential client.  And just today I pushed the "publish" button to publish my non-fiction book on dog fostering on Amazon.  (It should be live in a few days.)

So I'm doing things.  But the results are slow coming.  And sometimes that gets hard.

I just bought a new car yesterday.  Well, new for me.  A used 2009 model.  It's nice though, and I really like it.

The reason I bought a car yesterday is because my old car was having more and more issues starting.  Anytime I went anywhere, I knew it was increasingly likely that I'd be stranded there.

So, it was time.  Time to let that car go.  *tear*  It was the first car I ever bought... a 2002 Hyundai Sonata.  It was my gift to myself upon graduating college.  I had that car for 12 years!

But this post isn't about buying new cars.  I spent the money I had set aside for a new car.  Even though it was ear-marked for a car, it was still the largest chunk of my savings.  Seeing it go bye-bye was a tough pill to swallow.

A leap into the abyss.

Stepping even further out onto that skinny little branch that may snap at any moment.

My savings are now dangerously low.  My "car fund" was my major back-up, financially speaking, should an emergency arise.  Now it's gone.

And today I had a conversation with a potentially big client, and published a new, potentially successful ebook.  Coincidence?
                              

I really do believe what the quote above states.  It's what I proclaim and profess to anyone who'll listen... especially people who are currently unhappy in their jobs, relationships, or life in general.

DO what you want to do with your life.  What are you waiting for?

I'd like to touch on one more thing that I came across today.

It was advice from Jeff Goins.  To paraphrase, he said to not focus on the money.

I know that's certainly easy to say when you don't need money.  Believe me, I'm there too.

But many people go about life seeking the rewards of money, fame, or recognition.  What they then do, is either watered down, or not really them.  It's what they think others want or need from them.

Have you caught yourself doing that?  Living that way?

I know I have.  Take this blog, for instance.  When I started, I pretty much just wrote what was on my mind.  I let a lot of stuff fly, and I think I connected to a lot of people because of it.  But as my audience grew, and I started to really "get serious" about making a living as a writer, I started to reevaluate what I was doing and putting out into the world.

This could be a mistake.

I was trying to do and be what I thought would bring in the money.

What if all you have to do is be you and the money will come on its own?

                      
                      
                  

What Real Love Means

I've been focusing a lot on work and career lately in this blog.  Today I'd like to shift the focus a little, to love and relationships.

I was watching "The Biggest Loser" this week and was totally inspired.  (I often am watching that show, but this time it was for a different reason.)

One of the contestants (I don't remember his name... I often don't remember contestant's names in any of the reality shows I watch), lost his wife years ago.  They had had two children together.  They were very much in love.  She got sick and passed on.

Then some time later he met a new woman.  They fell in love too, got married, and to date have one child together.

Watching about this second wife, and hearing this man talk about her, totally blew me away.

She came into this man's life, completely, 100% full of love.  

Here was this guy, who lost his first love tragically -- they didn't divorce, they didn't have a "bad break-up," there was no bad blood there or bad times whatsoever.  The man still loved his first wife, even after her death.  He said on the show that he always will.

He also has two children from the first wife, who will always be reminders of their relationship and their love.
For most people, this would be a difficult situation to walk into and become a part of.  And granted, this is a TV show, so I realize they don't tell the whole story.

But this man talked about how his current wife came into their lives and brought the love with her.

She worked with the family to remember the children's mother fondly.

She didn't compare herself, get jealous, try to "take over."  She loved the circumstances for what they were.  She knew there was no need for comparison.  Her role was different.

I know I may be hypothesizing here, but that's ok.  This woman is an inspiration.  A model of love and compassion.  And I learned something from her by watching the clip on the TV show.

There is no reason to be jealous of anyone else.  To be insecure.  To compare yourself to someone else.

We're all different.  And we're ALL Love.

We all are right where we're supposed to be.  With who we're supposed to be with.

We all have lessons to learn, areas to grow in, and ways we can improve.

But ultimately, our only job is to be ourselves... and that self is 100% Love.

I have a quote on the board in my bathroom that says, "What would Love do?"

I forget who said it, but it's a great reminder.

We all have egos, and sometimes those egos can get out of control.  They can try to take over and run our lives.  When that happens, just remind yourself to let it go (whatever "it" is), relax, and tap back into the Love center of yourself.

When you find yourself acting in fear -- and any action that comes from any place of insecurity or negative emotions is fear -- ask yourself the question, "What would Love do?"

Then do that.  

                                    

Know When to Hold 'Em, Know When to Fold 'Em

I was never a big fan of the song, "The Gambler."  But as I listen to it now (literally, listening to it via YouTube as I type this), it's pretty great life advice...

"You've got to know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away,
And know when to run."

Those are the lyrics everyone knows.  But as the song goes on, it says this too:

"Every gambler knows the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away, 
And knowin' what to keep.
'Cause every hand's a winner.  
And every hand's a loser." 

"Every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser."

It's all in how you play the game.  What you do with the cards you're dealt.  And it's not always easy to know what to do with what's in your hand.

That's where I'm at now.  And I feel like I'm not very good at knowing what to throw away and what to keep.

It's kind of funny that I'm using this analogy, and that's it's so applicable, because I've never even liked playing cards (until the game, Phase 10, which I love, but that's beside the matter).

Sometimes I feel like I keep trying different things, and nothing quite pans out.

Take my current career... of lack thereof at the moment.

I made the jump to being a full-time writer two and a half years ago.  I wrote fiction novels to start (it was my dream).  When I wasn't making a living from my fiction novels, I turned to copywriting... and more of a "business" side of writing.  I learned a lot, read a lot, and was excited.  But that hasn't gone as I thought it would either.    

Maybe I give up too easily.  Maybe I jump ship too soon.

I admit, I want things to be easy.  There, I said it.  I'm not afraid of hard work, I'm just getting tired with putting in effort and time and not seeing any positive results.

I apologize now if this post comes across as a bit of a rant.  But it's where I'm at at the moment.  I don't know what to do.  Hold 'em, or fold 'em?  Walk away, or run?  Or stick it out?

I don't have the answer yet.  I'm sure it'll come to me in time.

                                           

For the time being, the only "answer" I have is to keep going.

One sure-fired way NOT to live the life of your dreams is to not even try.  To give up.

I'm not giving up... and I hope you don't either.  No one said this journey called life was going to be easy.        
                                      

* Addendum:
As I was reading through this post before publishing it, a reminder came to mind.

Be grateful.  

I've been focusing on what I don't have, instead of what I do have.

I have a nice house that I love.  I have a supportive and loving fiance.  I have great family and friends.  I have money in the bank.

I'm just scared and unsure... that's all.  I don't know how the future will play out.  None of us do.  And I suppose sometimes that just gets to me.  The uncertainty of it.

Where will money come from after I use up what I have?  I  don't know.

That's the fear that's rising up within me and what drove the post above.

What I do know is it's always worked out in the past.  Always.  Every time.  Time to put my trust in that force again.

** Wherever you are in your life journey, I'd love to hear about it!  Post comments below, or feel free to email me privately and directly at sarah@sarahdizney.com.  I read every email and will respond.

In peace and Love,
Sarah  

What are Your Desires, Dreams, and Goals for 2014?

The end of one year and the start of the next is a common time for contemplation.

2013 was a big year for me.  Lots of ups and downs.  And some big life-changing events (I got engaged!).

As momentous as 2013 was, I have some big desires and dreams for 2014.  And there's no time like the start of the year to set those intentions.

What  has gone like you envisioned in 2013?

What happened that you wanted to have happen, or that you're pleasantly surprised about?

I like to keep the focus positive here... no need to drudge up events that you weren't happy about or that didn't go like you had hoped (unless, of course, it's something you can actively do something about to make an improvement for the year ahead).

                                     

Now what would you like to see happen in 2014?  

Christine Hassler has a great way to look back/look ahead.  Check out her article here.

Remember, through whatever exercises you do or don't do to ring in the new year, it's your life.  It's your life to create however you like.

Would you like a new or different relationship in 2014?  Set your standards now.  And stick to them!

Would you like to be more financially secure in 2014?  See that for yourself, and feel it in your heart.  It can happen!

Would you like a new or better job, one that you actually enjoy, in 2014?  That can happen too!  Open your mind and relax your heart.  Let the Universe surprise you with all the abundance coming your way!

I especially loved Christine Hassler's phrase:

"This or something better for the highest good of all concerned.  And so it is."  

As grand a vision as you may have for yourself, the Universe might just have a grander one.  Allow the best to come into your life.  Even if it's something you don't see right now or have a hard time accepting might actually happen for you.

Whatever desire is in your heart can happen.  I believe this with every fiber of my being.  That's not to say I still don't have my struggles, doubts, and low points.  We all do.  But let those low points pass, pick yourself up, and keep your sights set on your goals.

I would love to hear any happenings from 2013 or desires for 2014 that you'd like to share and "put out there."  Feel free to leave comments below, or email me directly at sarah@sarahdizney.com.

Last, but not least, I want to thank you all who read this blog.  I started it last December, so it's been a little over a year going, but 2013 was the first full year.  I have loved watching the number of viewers increase over that time, and reading the comments you share.  It's my desire to continue it, and continue to watch it grow.  It's also a desire for me to help any of you in any way I can to be you and live your dream!

                                               
 

Use What You've Got

Below is the message I got from tut.com a couple days ago:

"You must use what you've got.  
Talent, brains, heart.  
Instincts, hunches, feelings.  
Money, health, friendships.  
Time, space, stuff.  
Otherwise, why would you need more?"  -- tut.com

It was like a slap upside the head for me.

I've been worrying, contemplating, trying to figure out how to make more money a lot lately.

Granted, I'd still like to increase my income.  But, this message from tut.com reminded me that I don't, in fact, need any money right now.
                                             
I've blogged about this before, and isn't it funny how we forget our own lessons?  Thankfully, the Universe repeats them for us.

They say if you live in lack, in scarcity, that's where you'll stay.  It's what you'll attract more of.

I didn't feel like I was living in scarcity, but I was.  I was holding onto the money I had in savings, afraid of letting it run out.

Afraid.  I was living in fear.  That's never a good way to attract abundance and prosperity.

What's even funnier is I had a thought pop into my head the day before I got that tut.com message.  The thought, a knowing really, was that I needed to use the money I had before I'd get more.

Now I don't know if I need to run my bank balance down to zero before I'll bring more money into my life.  I certainly hope not.  But the message is clear.

I need to use what I've got... otherwise, why do I need more?  

There are several home improvement projects I'd like to do to my house.  It's a kind of long, and rather expensive, list.  But the first item on the agenda is renovating the bathroom.

That's the first item because the bathtub pipes currently leak into the basement.  So it would make no sense to finish the basement (another item) until the source of the water is stopped.

I had been putting it off, saying I would do it once I was making more money.  Well.... I have enough money in savings to renovate the bathroom now.  And that's what hit me.

I need to take the first step.  

The Universe favors movement.  You'll get nowhere if you stand still.  You've got to move.

Momentum begets more momentum.

                                                                                      

I realized that I knew if I proceeded ahead with remodeling the bathroom, the money would come to move on to the next step -- finishing the basement.

This has happened on multiple occasions throughout my life.  The next step became clear after I made the first step.

When I quit my teaching job, I had no back-up job in place.  I didn't know what I'd do next.  Did I sit at home, holding tight to my savings until I found that next job?

No!  I took a two-week trip to China!

I'm sure people thought I was crazy, but I knew that's what I needed to do.  I needed to get out.  To move!  And sure enough, it got the snowball started.

When I got back from China, within a couple of months, things fell into place -- strangely perfectly -- that charted my course for the next several years.  And I never had to worry about the money.

My car has also been subtly trying to tell me this lately as well.

I've had my car for 12 years now.  I knew when I hit the 10-year mark that a new (new-to-me) car probably wasn't too far away.  So I started saving money.  And then when I got the unexpected inheritance a couple years ago, I set aside a lump sum earmarked for a new car.

Yet, in my current situation -- with little income and things so up in the air -- I started looking at that "car fund" as additional emergency back-up money.

As in... if I didn't start bringing in more of an income, I could live even longer off of that savings.

I was stalled.  I wasn't moving forward.  I was afraid to use what I had, in fear that more wouldn't come.

I think that's the source of my discontent as of late.  I've felt stuck.  Well, I've told myself I'm stuck!

But back to the car... it's been having issues starting, only sometimes, but for the past few months.  It's been so infrequent that I didn't worry about it.

Then about a week ago it began having issues starting a lot more frequently.  As in, nearly every time.

I believe now that the Universe was gently nudging me to make a move.  Take the next step.

Could I be reading more into this than is really there?  I could.  But I don't think so.  I believe the Universe speaks to us.  It guides us.  And when we don't pay attention to the quiet whispers and gentle nudges, it speaks a little louder and nudges a little more forcefully.

                                                   

           
So here's what I've resolved to do:

After the holidays, I'm going to start looking for a new car, in earnest.  And when I find one, that's within my set-aside budget, I'll get it.

And in January I'm going to get bids for my bathroom renovation.  I may wait until the spring to do the job, just because I don't like doing big home projects, especially where water is involved, in the winter.  But... come March/April... work will  begin on my new bathroom.

What have you been holding onto that you're afraid to use?  

Holding onto anything too tightly doesn't allow for fluid movement.  It doesn't allow for even more to come to you.

Are you keeping yourself stuck where you're at, or holding yourself back, by holding on too tightly to what you're afraid to lose?

I have.  I invite you to go with me as I release my hold, use and enjoy what I have now, and allow for even more abundance to come into my life.