Day one: Dig up the existing grass.
Day two: Plant the new plants.
Day three: Spread the mulch.
Well, it ended up taking about a week and a half, from start to finish. Granted, I didn't work in the yard every one of those days. Some days it rained. Some days I worked at the florist. But still, it took me longer than I thought it would.
Here are some before and after pictures:
Before
Before
After -- That's mulch, not dead grass.
(I realized after posting it that it kind of looked like dead grass, lol).
After
Well, if you want to make your house feel huge, paint it! Granted, rain also caused some delays, as well as going out of town... but still, it took me much longer than I anticipated.
Not just physical, labor-intensive projects can take longer than we plan. Our spiritual and personal growth can as well.
Now that I'm practicing my "Open in Love" mantra on a daily basis and still reading "The Untethered Soul," life seems so much more peaceful and just plain easier. I'm not struggling with the things I struggled with before -- insecurities, jealousies, fears. I honestly feel much more calm in the center of my being. That's the best I can describe it.
Before my inner Spirit/Heart was like the ocean. I had no idea of the stuff in the dark depths. Even when it looked calm on the surface, a storm could brew up any second and send waves crashing to the shore. It could go from smooth waters to frothy, choppy ones in an instant.
Now my Spirit and Heart are like a calm, serene, clear lake. Even if someone throws a pebble in, and ripples result, those ripples die out pretty quickly. I'm much calmer.
I marvel at how long it took me to get here. On one hand the growth took place over years. Over my entire life, really. But it also seems like it happened like flipping a switch. One day I was in the dark, and suddenly the next, my world was flooded with light. My goal now is to keep that light on!
A commenter on The Daily Love recently said how she felt more or less like change was hopeless for her now. She said she felt if she hadn't changed by this point in her life, she never would. She didn't tell her age, but the implication is she's a little older. I don't know if that means she's 30, 40, or 65. But I responded to her on TDL and told her it didn't matter. Change can happen ANY time and it doesn't matter how old we are. The important thing is we keep learning and keep growing.
Like I said, I had been reading "self-help" books since probably high school. I remember one of my first was called "Being Happy." It wasn't that I was unhappy, but I didn't feel as carefree and "happy" as many of my classmates seemed to be. I was very self-conscious and shy.
But anyway, I'd been reading those types of books for 20 years or so and still struggled with insecurities and fear and didn't feel like anything really "changed" me. I still went back to my same old ways, thoughts, and beliefs... though a little more mature and a little more confident as I got older.
In the recent years I've discovered Wayne Dyer. I've read several books of his and all have been very helpful and what I'd consider life-changing. BUT, I still hung on to my old beliefs and behavior patterns.
Then I read "The Untethered Soul." And I honestly feel like my soul has been untethered. As corny as that may sound.
So was it that book that made ALL the difference? If I had read that 20 years ago (if it even existed), would I have changed back then? Or was it the tipping point? The final straw that broke the back of my fearful, insecure "camel?" I don't know. But it doesn't matter. The point is that we can have epiphanies at any time in our lives. I know I've read things over the years that helped me at the time. And who's to say that what I'm learning now won't fade over time.
I think each thing I've read, each speaker I've listened to, has caused my heart to open a little more. And my Spirit to shine through a little more.
Patience isn't my strongest trait. In some situations I can be tirelessly patient. But in others, I want what I want right now. This is something I've had to consciously be aware of and remind myself to be more patient at times.
Everything takes time. Some things may happen quicker than we anticipate, seeming to fall right into our laps. But other things may take longer than we'd like. Remember it's all in the Divine Timing of the Universe.
When I was in high school I would have said I wanted to get married in my early 20s. Get married and have kids. Then that time came and I realized I was in no way ready for it. At 35 now, I'm feeling for the first time in my life that I'm really ready to get married. Kids? Still not ready for that. I don't think that's in the plan for my life.
I tried to force it before. The first time I was with my current boyfriend, I thought I was ready to commit to him forever. But as I've blogged about, I had major issues I needed to work out. It didn't work the first time because I wasn't ready and it wasn't the right Time. It was Time then to learn and grow. And now, I feel, is the Time to Love. Love myself and Love others. With what I've learned from Michael Singer, I see that I wasn't really loving before. I was trying to love, but it was my ego.
Patience. Everything happens in Divine Timing.
My financial success is still not where I want it to be. Sometimes I get down about this and give myself a hard time. I start to wonder if maybe I'll have to get another job that's not my life's purpose, just to bring in some money.
Then I relax. Take a deep breath. And remind myself that I'm ok now. Financially, I am ok now. And living in the Present is the only place any of us can live.
So if something is taking longer than you think it should, relax. It's ok. I believe I didn't read "The Untethered Soul" until now (despite knowing about it for months, maybe even years), because I wasn't ready. If you asked me months ago why I hadn't read that book yet, I would have replied, "I don't know, it just doesn't interest me." It didn't interest me because my Spirit wasn't ready for it.
"Follow the energy," as Wayne Dyer says. If we're not feeling something, or interested in something, it's our unconscious telling us it's not time for us. Granted, with some things it may never be time (like me having kids, though who knows). But that, too, is just fine. We're all here for a reason. No matter how long it takes to uncover that reason, so be it.
Relax, settle into where you are now, and continue learning and growing.
It'll all get done. What needs to get done anyway. When I was half-way through painting my house I felt like I'd never be done. But I did finish. Same when I was digging up the grass in my front yard. It seemed endless. Each tiny shovelful seemed to hardly make a dent. But it did make a dent.
Each little step we take is progress. Don't worry about how long it's taking you. Trust in the Divine Timing. Trust in the Universe.
Let go.
Just Love.
Nice blog. Been a fan of self-help books since I was 17.... and now I'm 27. I've evolved over the years. I'm less shy now... I'm happier... and I'm more confident...
ReplyDeleteMy life is still not perfect but such growth takes time... it's a process...
Thank you for this incredible blog!
xo
Syafique
from Malaysia
Syafique,
DeleteThank you!! I'm glad you like my blog! It's always nice to meet like-minded people on the same path. :)
Sarah
I've added your blog on my Blog Roll!
ReplyDeletemotivationMY.com :)
This blog really resonates with me Sarah :) I started reading self help & religious type books as a teenager, which I enjoyed and it did help with my depression, but I don't think any of it really sunk in until recently. Like you, I just don't think I was ready for it.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to put a time frame on our spiritual growth as we're so used to getting things NOW, but as you said, all in good time :)