I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend the other day and a revelation hit me.
Like attracts like.
I know you've all heard that, and that is not the revelatory part. What I hadn't seen until that day was that all the things I'd seen and noticed in my boyfriend, are in me too. We had attracted each other into our lives because like attracts like.
What had I seen in him? I had seen how his friends didn't show much respect for him. That they didn't seem to value him as a friend. I had seen that he had done things "for others" or because others expected him to, without deciding if it was what he wanted. He often let people take advantage of how nice and generous he was, and got walked all over... and I didn't respect or admire that quality in him.
Yet.... it's in me too. And I don't know that I even saw that until now. In fact, with some of these traits, I would adamantly deny that I'm that way at all. He and I did have our differences, but I'm seeing now that we were more alike than I realized. He was my mirror in many ways. And I didn't even realize it.
Isn't that the way it is? The people in our lives are mirrors of ourselves. In one way or another. Often what annoys or frustrates us most in other people is really the quality in ourselves that we dislike the most. Yet we often don't see it in ourselves, but we see it in others.
So pay attention! Pay attention to what frustrates you in other people and take a good, hard look at yourself. Is it there, in you too? Are you denying it? Are you choosing not to see it, or "explaining" it away?
But it's all in our thoughts and our mindset. I had been around some of the same people I'm around now, before, and hadn't let them in. I kept them at a distance because I felt they were better than me, or they wouldn't really like me, or some other false belief of my ego. Now that I'm working on changing my thoughts, beliefs, and mindset, I view these very same people differently.
I was just at a raw food potluck over the weekend. I attended seven or so of these last year (they have them monthly). And there were many of the same people at the one this weekend as were at previous ones. Yet I felt I connected more this weekend. I talked more openly. I was more friendly. I felt this in myself. I reached out to others and approached others I would not have, and have not approached in the past.
So anyway, it hit me that "like attracts like" in all areas of our lives. That's why it's so important to believe in yourself and be true to you. To be the person you want to be. To stand up for yourself and what you believe to be important. To teach others how to treat you and not settle for less.
I saw the mirror of my boyfriend not being valued by his friends, in myself, recently as well.
Yesterday I was having dinner with my family for Mother's Day. My mom told me that this girl, who I've long considered my best friend (besides my sisters) didn't get this job she applied for. I asked my mom how she knew this, as my friend just had an interview for this job not too long ago. My mom said that my friend had texted her and told her that she didn't get the job.
Why did this sting? Because I had texted my friend myself, being supportive and encouraging, and asking if she heard about the job. She hadn't at that point, but said she'd let me know. Well, I never got another text (or call) about it. I still have not heard from her that she didn't get it. But apparently my mom knew days ago.
And now I'm kind of at a loss for what to do. Do I text my friend now and tell her I heard she didn't get the job and tell her I'm sorry about that? Or do I not say anything, and wait until she tells me herself?
Then there's the whole, why didn't she tell me, question in my mind. That one, I know, is coming from ego. Why didn't she tell me? Was she embarrassed? Did she forget? Did she send a text and it didn't go through?
Spirit doesn't need to know why. Spirit just lives in love. Spirit doesn't get offended or hurt when other people don't behave a certain way. Spirit continues to love.
So what to do from here? Just love. Tune in to my Spirit and all the love there, and don't let the ego take over. Just be present. Don't take stuff personally. Just love. Just love. Just love.
And pay more attention to the people around you. Are you more like them than you realize? If you want them to change... then turn that focus inward and change yourself!
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." That quote now has a whole new meaning to me.