"[Y]our Source of being knows nothing of struggle, hatred, revenge, frustration, fear, tension, or excuses --these are all inventions of the ego," (page 229).
I sat with that for a moment after reading the words. ALL of our frustration, struggle, and fear...among other things...are from the ego. They're not even us. Not our Spirit self. They're something our ego creates to feel right, better than, play the victim, etc.
And the best part? WE get to choose to live in our ego or NOT!
So the next time you're feeling yourself struggling, feeling frustrated, afraid, tense, anxious, jealous... step back and remind yourself that those feelings are not you. They are your ego. Separate yourself from them. Go inward and get back in tune with your Spirit. It's there always, in Love and peace.
It's kind of wild to even think about. To imagine not ever feeling frustration, fear, or struggle again. Things may come up that trigger those responses in you, but each time it is truly your choice whether you let the ego take over, and delve into those fear-based emotions... or whether you step back and step into your Spirit. Into Love.
I can easily recall such instances in myself and others, where ego took over. Sometimes I think it can be easier to see it in others. After all, you're not the one feeling stressed, frustrated, or afraid.
I recall one specific conversation I had with a friend on the phone recently. We were talking and sharing things and I noticed the conversation went from being open and "in Love" to her slipping into her ego. I could see it, plain as day. Fear tinged her words, I could sense the frustration building. It was easy for me, in that moment, to step back and see what was happening. For me to stay in Love and not fall into my own ego. But I wasn't the one with the struggle at that particular moment.
But when it's you whose ego is trying to take over, and you who's in the midst of a frustrating experience, it's much more difficult to step back and get back into your Love place. But that is the challenge.
In the past week or two, I have noticed an improvement in my ego vs. Spirit self while driving. I've written how I can tend to get most frustrated when driving and have experiences with other drivers whose driving practices I don't agree with. But since I've been consciously making an effort to improve in this area in my life, I catch myself.
Other drivers still annoy and frustrate me. Initially. Something will happen and my instant response is one of irritation and self-righteousness. But in the next instant, I realize what's going on and I stop myself from going fully to "that place." I remind myself that this, too, is for my own good. That whatever it is that this other driver is doing isn't really a big deal. There are other, better things to focus my thoughts and energy on.
I'm far from living with no fear, anxiety, or struggle. But it's cool to know that I can live with much less...and maybe next to none someday.
One thing I have noticed, that came to my mind just now. I feel a lot less fear and struggle now... that I'm no longer working at the florist. I have my life back. Fully and completely. No one else is scheduling my time but me. And this feels pretty amazing!
In the recent weeks I've felt a higher degree of struggle and frustration due to not wanting to spend my time at that job. To knowing there is something else that's more "my calling." So that created an internal struggle. But I'm happy to say that now I'm free of that! Free of that struggle anyway.
As I sit on my couch typing this, with six little foster kittens sleeping in my lap and another one lounging in the sun on the floor, I look outside at the beautiful, sunny day, and know that every minute of this day is mine. Mine to do with what I want. And there is nothing that elicits more peace in my Spirit than that.
I look forward to continuing in this life journey, and continuing to practice seeing my ego when it comes up. And knowing I get to choose whether to be in ego, or in Love. And so you do!
This has nothing to do with this blog... but wanted to share a picture of a few of my precious foster kitties. They like to "help me work."