Monday, January 14, 2013

Cut your own ties.

Sometimes the best way to move on is to cut ties.  I'm not talking about burning bridges, forever damaging or destroying any future interactions.  But cut the ties that link you to that other person or situation that you feel is holding you back.  Release yourself. 

I know some people believe in staying friends when they end a romantic relationship.  I don't believe that's really possible.  At least not at first.  Or for a while. 

I believe that if a person isn't right for you, in order to really move on, you need to separate yourself from them.  Cut the ties.  Be your own person.  Find out who YOU are, as an individual, away from that person.

There are also ties linking you to non-romantic people.  Friends, family, acquaintenances, even strangers.  Anyone you interact with or think about - there is a tie linking you to them.   

But here's the thing.  You can only cut your ties.  The ties that link you to other people.  You can't cut ties between other people, even if you fully believe it's what they need to do and they'll be better off. 

If you aren't comfortable with a situation or a person, even one in which you're only indirectly invovled, the only thing you can do (aside from just putting up with it) is to cut your ties.  Release yourself from the situation. 

We have choices.  We choose who to spend our time with and who not to.  You pretty much always have the option to leave if you're not comfortable.  I, for one, plan to start exercising that choice more often.   

Bottom line:  Let go of the stuff holding you down.  Let yourself be free!  Cut those ties!

Remember, many of your ties are likely in your mind.  I'm not talking about biological family ties.  Your thoughts create ties.  When you think about something, you put energy towards that.  This creates a link.  A tie to whatever or whoever you're thinking about.  Like it or not. 

I have been cutting mental ties lately myself.  I'll share a little trick I find helpful.  I imagine an actual rope linking me to the person I'm cutting ties with and envision it being cut with an oversized pair of scissors.  I know it sounds trivial, but it works!  Sometimes I have to imagine this repeatedly, whenever the person or anything relating to the person pops in my head.  Lately this has been quite often.  But I have noticed the more ties I cut (mentally), the less I feel tied to this person.  The more I feel myself separating.  I'm freeing myself.  One cut tie at a time.  Give it a shot! 

Bottom line:  If you feel negative energy, cut the tie that's linking you to it.  You'll feel so much better!  And you'll be better off.   

Quotes of the Day:

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”   (Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul)

“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”   (Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential)

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”   (Tupac Shakur)


  1. Great post Sarah. I do the same thing - envision a cord connecting me to that person and I mentally cut it. I do feel freer afterward.

    1. Vernette,
      Thanks for the comment! That's cool that you do the same mental cord cutting exercise! :) Lately I've been cutting a lot of cords.