Have you ever felt stuck?
That's a rhetorical question because we all have.
But have you ever questioned your dream?
Things were going great. You were doing what you wanted. Or at least, you knew what you wanted to be doing and had a plan to get there. Then all of a sudden that momentum stopped. The drive you had before was simply gone. Have you felt this way?
I'm there now. I'm feeling stuck. In a rut, spinning my wheels, or more accurately, not spinning anything. Just sitting there.
I feel like I should be doing something, but don't know what it is. Like someone pressed the "pause" button on my life and I'm just waiting for them to hit "play."
The current novel I'm working on has been sitting on my computer, just waiting for the final read-through and publishing. It's just there, waiting on me. Really, it could have been done before New Year's. That was my goal. Then I let it go. I let the time slip by and chose not to work on it. Why? I don't know.
I'm feeling discouraged by my slow rate of success. Financial success. I admit it. It's been a year and a half since I quit my job and decided to make writing my full-time career. A year and a half of no other job than my writing (well, except for work I do for my grandmother a couple days a week). I know that's not much time for the average writer to make a living from his/her writing. I know many great writers have gone much, much longer without financial accolades. Still, it's starting to worry me. It's making me doubt and question. Am I on the right path? Am I doing the right thing?
Have you been there?
So the question now is what to do. At the very least, I'm feeling like I need to do something. I need an income. More than what I'm currently bringing in through the work I do for my grandma and the little I do make from the books I have published so far.
I did get hired as seasonal help at a florist for these few weeks leading up to Valentine's Day. I'm grateful for that, and actually enjoy working there. I've never worked with flowers before, so this is something new and different. I like that.
I'm just in a "blah" period right now. I know it'll pass. Everything does. I'm reminded of the "Contraction/Expansion" blog post by Kate Swoboda on The Daily Love blog.
(If you haven't read it, you can check it out here: http://thedailylove.com/contraction-or-expansion-what-kind-of-year-will-it-be-for-you/)
I feel that I've been in a contraction period for the past couple of days. All I've wanted to do is work on my jigsaw puzzle (yes, I really do like puzzles) or watch a movie. I'm struggling with not being productive, and not feeling productive or creative in the least. Yet, I'm trying to be patient with myself. Something's in there, it just has to come to the surface. Something is about to happen, I just don't know what yet.
Take a deep breath. (I'm talking to myself here, but you can do it too.)
Everything will be just fine.
Quotes of the Day:
“The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you." (Neil deGrasse Tyson)
“Get going. Move forward. Aim High. Plan a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you'll love it up here.” (Donald Trump)