I was reading "Eat, Pray, Love," last night (for the second or third time) and came across the part where the author, Liz, is in the ashram in India and wants to be "the quiet girl" instead of her usual bubbly, chatty self. She decides she's going to be silent for her remaining two months in the ashram. I believe it lasts a day until the "heads" of the ashram ask her to take over the job of "hostess," obviously requiring talking and socializing. That's when Liz realized, or was reminded, of WHO she is. She IS talkative, bubbly, social.
She writes, "Useful, then, might be to accept how I was made and embody myself fully therein."
I've been learning to accept myself as I am for some time now. Probably my whole life. I think that's part of why we're here, is to figure out who we are and BE that person.
I found it interesting that Liz wants to be "the quiet girl." I have always been "the quiet girl" and I don't see the draw of it. She saw "that quiet girl" as "elusive" and "mystical." I was often teased growing up for "never talking" and many people thought I was stuck-up.
I've been reading my old journals for research for my next book. Recently I read a part when I was in college, nineteen years old, and I was trying to become more outgoing. I wrote how I was proud of myself for doing simple things like saying "hi" to more people without them saying "hi" first. It sounds so silly, but I do remember doing that. I was trying to teach myself to be more talkative and outgoing. I was trying to be someone I wasn't naturally.
I'm not saying that it's bad to improve yourself. As long as you're still being yourself.
"God dwells within you, as you" (another quote from "Eat, Pray, Love"). God is YOU, exactly the way you are. So when you try to be someone that you're not, you're saying God/the Universe isn't good enough just as He/It is.
We are our most powerful when we are living fully as our true selves (as Tony Robbins says as well, in the quote below). When you're trying to be someone you're not, you're not only not being authentic, you're squelching your own inner power. You're weakening yourself.
It's been a gradual process, but it hasn't been until really the past year (or maybe even less) that I decided to just BE "the quiet girl." BE who I am. And be OK with it!
I have thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with me because I wasn't more talkative and social. I was "weird" because I didn't have an interest or desire to talk to many people. I've spent many an hour trying to "figure myself out." What I really needed to be spending my time doing was simply being myself.
Now when I'm in a social situation (which I do still enjoy from time to time), I don't pressure myself to be more social than comes naturally. I don't make myself feel bad for sitting quietly, listening to everyone else, instead of jumping into the conversation. Yes, some people might still think I'm snobby or stuck-up, but I know I'm not, and if they would actually get to know me, they'd see it too.
I'm done being who I'm not in order to try to be who others want me to be.
*I'd love to read your comments about how you've been who you're not, or felt pressure to be someone else, or how you've "come to terms" with who YOU are and love yourself! Or any other comment! Just click on the "Comment" button at the end of this post. :)
Quotes of the Day:
"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which
he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep." (Samuel
Johnson, The Rambler, 1750)
"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." (Johann von
"The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with
his identity." (Tony Robbins)
"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we
cannot resemble." (Samuel Johnson)