We all have things that we value. Be it family, friends, independence, animals, love in general, health, the environment, even money. Whatever it is that that you claim is most important to you, do your actions support that?
I know it can be tough. This morning I was contemplating whether to make my juice or not. (I juice some combination of a pear, apple, leafy greens, cucumber, celery, carrots, beets, bell peppers and ginger.) I used to make a huge glass of juice (I'm talking about 32 ounces) every single morning. Then I looked hard at my grocery expenses and they were getting way too high.
I buy only organic produce. And to make that much juice, I used a lot of produce. It got expensive real fast.
This morning I thought about... what do I value more, my health or money? My health, of course, is the answer that immediately comes up. Yet it's not so easy. I'm not yet bringing in the kind of income I'd like. I'm still pulling from my savings every month. Starting in January, after my boyfriend moved out, I took a long, hard look at my expenses (I keep a written budget every month) and cut back on what I felt comfortable cutting back on.
My grocery money was one place. I always allotted myself a set amount for food, but in the past I'd go over and not worry about it. It was for my health, after all, I reasoned, what could be more important? (That is, when I wasn't buying ice cream or other not-so-healthy food items.) But I've committed to staying within my budgetted amount the past three months. That's forcing me to pay extra attention to where the money goes when I walk into the grocery store.
Most does go to whole foods -- produce. But in order to save money, I decided to just have my juice every other day, and a smaller amount (more like 12 ounces). Don't worry, I'm not going hungry, or being completely unhealthy on the off days, for breakfast I'll have a green smoothie instead (with a banana being the only produce, some green powder, almond milk, coconut water, and cinnamon).
Still, this is presenting an issue for me. I claim to value health so much, yet I'm choosing not to consume the healthiest thing I consume -- my fresh juice. I'm feeling the clash between valuing health, and valuing conserving money and not going into debt.
I've been hearing the song, "Most Nights" by the group Fun a lot lately. Whether it's in the car, or the lyrics just won't leave my head. The specific chorus line, "What do I stand for, what do I stand for?" really jumped out at me one day when I was driving. What do I stand for? Do my actions back that up? If you want, you can listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0
Have you ever seen someone truly living in conjunction with their spirit's calling? It's one of the most beautiful sights. It's almost like you can see their spirit coming out of them. It's so inspiring. It compels me to be true to my own spirit and whatever it's calling me to do.
I see this often with musicians. Probably in part because they're on stage, performing for us all to watch. We actually do see them. I could see it in the lead singer of Fun, in the video I linked to above. I know it exists for other professions as well.
Have you ever felt it? Totally lined up? Spirit, mind, body, all working together, for the same cause? Powerful, isn't it?
I think when we act in tune with our spirit, we feel it. When we don't, something just feels "off."
I have sort of been struggling lately with tuning in to what my spirit is calling me to do. I still write this blog every morning, but more often lately I sit down with my computer and don't have a topic in mind. Nothing is jumping out at me to write about. Eventually something comes. Luckily.
It's the same with my books. I have two started, a non-fiction one and a fiction. But honestly, I don't feel overly compelled to work on either. Is this just laziness? I don't think so. I feel like my spirit's not into it. Like there's something else I should be doing. But what is it? I haven't figured that out yet.
Back to the health/money dilemma. I know what I want to do. I want to buy whatever I want at the store (healthy foods, mind you) and consume them in great quantities, not worrying about the cost. But then there's that financially responsible voice in the back of my head, "That's a lot of money! You can eat healthy for less, just cut back a little. You don't want to run through your money so fast. You might need it. You gotta be careful."
I don't have an answer for that voice.
Is my worrying about money causing me to stay in a state of scarcity? Is just thinking about running out of money leading me towards that? If I did spend without worrying where more money would come from (again, for healthy endeavors...not shopping sprees here), would more money come? Because the Universe supports my health and overall well-being? Man, that's a tough one.
It's funny because I do believe the Universe has our backs. And that we're all provided for at all times. And everything that happens is for our best interest, somehow. I can easily apply those rationales to jobs and relationships. But when it comes to money, that's where I say, "Hold on, wait a second, I've gotta step in here..."
What's the answer? What do I (or you) do? I don't know. If I figure it out, though, I'll let you know. Perhaps the quote from Wayne Dyer (below, with the sunset) will provide some guidance.
*All quotes below are from www.goodreads.com
Quotes of the Day:
“Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.” (José Ortega y Gasset)
“It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” (Roy Disney)
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”