Yesterday I was feeling a bit chaotic. Like there was so much going on in my head, so much I "should" be doing, I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what to do.
I "should" write my blog (but I didn't know what to write about).
I "should" work on my next novel (but prefer to do that later in the day).
I "should" market my current novels.
I "should" walk my dogs...clean my house...write in my journal...meditate...etc....
What won? Meditating. Thankfully.
I went to my "meditation spot," lit a candle, got my warm mug of lemon water (sounds gross, but I really like it), and set the timer for 20 minutes. (I like to do that because it gives me a frame of reference, so I don't have to check the time. Once the timer goes off, if I want to sit longer, I do. But that way I know I've been there at least 20 minutes. And really, that's a good amount of time for me. A lot usually comes up in 20 minutes.)
Anyway.... as I sat, I got calm. The thoughts came to a rest in my head. My mind eased. Two blog topics came to me (this being one of them). Funny how when I feel like I "have" to write my blog, I don't know what to write about. But once I get calm, it comes.
I was reminded that I didn't have to DO anything. Just be. Be here now.
Of course I still "did" things yesterday. I drove to the animal shelter and walked dogs for almost three hours. But even then, instead of focusing on the "doing," I focused on the "being."
I'm not just walking the dogs (doing the walking). I'm being with them. I'm being in nature. I'm being at the shelter. I'm being me. I'm being love.
And later, as I sat in Starbucks and wrote the first chapter of my next novel, I wasn't "just writing." I was being a writer. I was being in the cafe. I was, again, being me.
I felt it as soon as the thought came to my mind during meditation yesterday morning. When I'm being, I'm at peace. When I'm doing, I feel frazzled, pressured, chaotic.
That's why I didn't post a blog entry yesterday. I devoted the whole day to being. I didn't want to do anything just for the sake of doing it. Just because I felt like I "had to" or I "should."
I really needed a day like that. I was still very productive (I even ran a couple errands after leaving Starbucks), but I was calm about it. I wasn't worried about not getting something done or about if I had enough time.
It felt really nice.
I'm hoping that feeling stays with me for a while.
Don't DO. Just be.
Take a moment. Take a breath. Who are you? Be that person.
You don't have to do anything.
Just be who you are.
The Universe will take care of the rest.