Stop "giving everything a chance."
When you know, trust that. Believe it. And stop doubting yourself.
I think I'm "being nice" by giving people a chance. But am I being nice to myself? By giving my time and energy to someone who I already know isn't a fit for me - romantically or otherwise?
I tend to second guess myself all the time. I doubt myself. I meet someone and think, "They're not that great, but they do have some good qualities, so maybe I should give them a chance. Maybe my feelings will grow over time."
I think it's those stories we all hear.... about the guy or gal who met someone and didn't like them at first, but gave them a chance, and now they're happily married and apparently very in love. Those stories are what I think of in the back of my mind when I meet someone who seems to like me, and be interested in me, yet who I'm not so sure about or not feeling much towards.
The thing is, how do those stories end? Is the couple, specifically the one who didn't like the other one at the start, really happy years and years down the line? Or does the one eventually feel like he or she is settling.
I suppose with any relationship, you never know how it'll work out over time. People grow and change. It's probably just as likely that two people will grow together as they will grow apart.
Still, so far in my life I've "given people chances" and look where it's got me. The longest relationship I've had is just over two years, and I'm single at the age of 35. Not that that's a bad thing, I'm just saying.
(I debated on putting the above quote pic in, but it was too funny, and too true not to.)
But alas, I believe everything happens for a reason. There were things I needed to learn, and hopefully I learned them.
Moving forward though, I'm intent on trusting my gut more. On respecting my feelings, and not giving so many chances when I already know it's not right.
This same line of thought can be applied to any area of your life. Jobs, activities others invite you to, things people ask you to do.
I'm working on this in my own life. Not just in relationships, but all areas. In not going along with something just because someone asks me to, if I know it's not something I'm comfortable doing. If I get that "unsure" feeling in my gut, listen to it.
*All quotes below are from www.joyofquotes.com.
Quotes of the Day:
"Cease trying to work everything out with your minds, it will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be a revelation." (Eileen Caddy)
"A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something." (Frank Capra)
"Synchronicity is choreographed by a great, pervasive intelligence that lies at the heart of nature, and is manifest in each of us through intuitive knowledge." (Deepak Chopra)
"For the spiritual being, intuition is far more than a hunch. It is viewed as guidance or as God talking, and this inner insight is never taken lightly or ignored." (Wayne Dyer)
Stacia,
ReplyDeleteI think we're a lot alike too! :)
That's really cool that you were able to notice and honor your feelings about the guy from your past. That's really inspiring to me. I still struggle with it from time to time. Atually writing this blog piece helped (it always helps me get clear on how I feel, as new things emerge as I write, and it cements what I already knew). But it's a conscious effort and choice! And you made a positive choice for you, which is awesome! I like how you said you don't want any part of someonehalf-assing it with you. Great point! A good standard to have to weed out who's *really* interested and who's not so much. Thanks for sharing!
Sarah