I'm a huge animal lover. For a little over a year now, I've been fostering dogs for my local humane society. All this time I thought I couldn't foster little dogs because my boyfriend's dachshund "doesn't get along with little dogs." Or so says my live-in boyfriend.
For weeks there has been a blind shih-tzu at the shelter I volunteer at. With her special needs, finding a home (either a foster home or forever home) is more difficult. People have commented that she's not doing well in the shelter environment and is going down hill. Naturally, this tugged at my heart.
For the past week or so, I've been feeling resentful. Resentful of my boyfriend's dachshund, and resentful of my boyfriend (because it is quite silly to resent a dog). I felt like they (he) were holding me back from doing something I felt compelled in my heart to do. Holding me back from being me.
Our feelings are clues. They tell us if we're moving towards love or towards fear. The two ends of the spectrum. It's up to us to see the clues and then use them to move towards love. In love, we are happy, joyous, healthy, and peaceful. In fear, we can be insecure, jealous, sad, threatened, and in my case with this particular situation, resentful.
All of our emotions fall in the range from love to fear. Resentment is basically fear that we won't get something we want. Or fear that someone else will keep us from receiving or achieving something.
My resentment was building in such a way that it made me question my relationship with my boyfriend. I know - how could a little dog be the potential cause of a break-up? It wasn't the dog, it was the fear in my heart. The fear that I wouldn't be able to answer the calling in my spirit. The fear that I wouldn't be able to follow my heart. The feeling that I was being held back.
Then something shifted in me yesterday morning. I finally decided that I wasn't going to not do something I felt passionately about. I decided that it will work out. For the best. One way or another. I had always known this to be true, but had forgotten that it applies even to this situation.
So I contacted the volunteer coordinator of the shelter to ask if I could foster this little girl. I was given the "ok" and today was the day to pick her up. I took the dachshund with me, figuring it would be best if they met at a neutral site. I also did not tell my boyfriend.
I know, I know, this probably wasn't the best way to go about it. But I know thoughts have energy and power. I didn't want his assumptions and beliefs that his dog "doesn't get along with other little dogs" to block the positive energy I was feeling and wanted to build. If everyone got along, I knew he'd be ok with it.
Guess what? All went very well! The dachshund had no negative reaction to the foster dog whatsoever! It went even better than my positive thoughts had envisioned!
The resentment (aka fear) that I had been building in my mind and heart for the past week was totally unfounded. My lesson from this situation: Be me! Follow MY heart. Do what I feel my spirit is calling me to do. It will work out. Thank you, Universe, for the reminder!
The same is true for you. I realize all situations may not be as easily resolved as this one. But if you're starting to feel the resentment building in your heart, it's a clue that you need to take action. If you feel any fear-based emotion at all, it's a clue to you. A clue that something in your life isn't sitting right with you. You may need to change something that you're doing or something that you're thinking in order to get back to love.
I encourage you all, the next time you're feeling any emotion other than love, see it for what it really is. Fear. Fear that you won't be able to be/do/have something you feel in your heart that you're meant to be/do/have. Fear that you'll be held back from being your true, awesome self. Fear that it won't work out the way you want it to.
Then, with that knowledge of what you're afraid of in your mind, take action! Do what it is you know you need to do. You can do it! I assure you that when you act in spite of the fear, it feels that much greater afterwards.
Love in love, not fear!
Quotes of the Day:
Next time you feel fear, either right after a major decision or just before one, it usually means you're exactly where you need to be.
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.