You've heard the saying, "It is what it is," but have you really thought about it? I always thought it was a disheartening saying. What you say when you're giving up or telling someone else to. "There's nothing you can do about it so you might as well give up." But now I think about it differently.
"It is what it is" isn't about giving up, it's about acceptance. Surrender. Letting go of your desperation to change or control. Allowing what is to simply be what it is.
I'm sure we all look at the world around us and see a million things that we could improve. Little things, that if we could just change them, it would be so much better. Why don't other people see it the way we do? Why do other people do what they do when there's clearly a better way?
That is our ego talking. Our ego believes we know best. Other people are wrong, and we are right. It's so obvious.
I've been learning to see my ego for what it is. And not let it run my thoughts or my life. Easier said than done. Our ego has a mighty strong hold on us. Whenever we get the least bit afraid, angry, or sad, our ego jumps to our aid. Our ego is quick to point the finger and make ourselves feel better.
But do we really feel better when we let our ego rise to the top? Sure, it's nice to have a little voice saying, "Of course you're right. They are complete and utter morons and you're better than them." That is not the voice of love though. It only serves to soothe the ego, and over time we'll feel even more stressed and anxious by thinking such thoughts.
My challenge to myself is to accept people and situations for who and what they are. Do I still think I could improve upon what is? Sometimes, yes. But that's not my job and I'm aware now that that's my ego talking. I don't know what the Universe has planned for someone else. I don't know the reason a given situation is unfolding the way it is. Our egos wrongly believe we know best. But we don't. And we don't need to. All we need to do is to gently guide ourselves back to love and let things be what they are. Trust that the Universe knows what it's doing.
This isn't to say that if we see someone in need, we shouldn't help. If our help is wanted, that is. If we see someone being mistreated, we should still step in. Speak up. Stand up for what is right. "It just is" isn't about not changing for the better or letting mistreatment simply go on. It's about letting go of wishing the past was different than it was and accepting the things that are out of our control.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I didn't like that he'd been married before. I have never been married, and in my ego-talk, I was better for not having done something that was clearly a mistake. I had a big ego! I was constantly stressing about what he'd done in his past. I wanted it to be different than it was.
I went to a couple sessions with a life coach around this time in my life. She (Cathy Stopczynski) introduced the words, "It just is" to me. She may have heard the phrase from someone like Wayne Dyer or Jack Canfield. But it was new to me. "It just is." Huh. I found this very liberating.
You mean I don't have to stress out about things out of my control?
During one of the group classes with Cathy, we did a guided meditation. During this meditation we were supposed to just let whatever thoughts came up in our minds to come up. No judgement. The purpose of the meditation was to uncover our true selves.
Once the meditation was over, we went around the group and everyone shared what they learned (if they chose to). Everyone had long sentences and paragraphs of information they'd received in their meditation. What did I get? "Let go."
I heard the words, "Let go" over and over and over, the entire time. It was a powerful experience for me. It was the springboard for me to really LET GO and stop trying to control everything.
I have grown leaps and bounds from where I was that day, over two years ago. I have learned to trust the Universe and let go of my need to be in control.
Do I still struggle with it at times? Sure! But the more I practice it, the better I get at it. Each experience is an opportunity to practice being the best me I can be. To practice letting others be themselves. To practice trusting the Universe and living in love!
"It just is" is a kind reminder to ourselves to just let go and let it be. Let the Universe handle it. Let karma do what it does. Our jobs in this life is to be love. Love ourselves. Love others. BE the physical embodiment of love.
Quotes of the Day:
"With humility comes the willingness to stop trying to control or change other people or situations 'for their own good.' The world is only a projection of one's own mind."
(I believe Wayne Dyer said this, but darn it, I didn't write down the source when I copied this quote weeks ago.)
"Even though you can't physically see a tree growing, doesn't mean it's not. Right? Same with the world spinning? Gravity clinging? So the next time the masses are huddled at your feet, pining about dreams they claim are not coming true, you might remind them of this. Every day you get closer." (tut.com)