Sunday, December 23, 2012

Who do YOU want to be?

“I’m becoming more ME every day.” 

The question then becomes, who do you want to be?

Today is my birthday.  I have lived 35 years now.  And over the course of those 35 years, I have become more and more ME every day.  I feel it even more the older I get.  And I can happily say, I love me! 

I don't intend that to sound egotistical or arrogant.  But I believe everyone should love themselves and genuinely like themselves as well.  If you don't, then it's time to make a change! 

Do you like what you do? 

Some people believe you just "have" to work a job, you don't have to like it.  I never agreed with that.  In my 35 years of life, I've had sixteen different jobs in seven different industries over a span of nineteen working years.  I can honestly say that I loved each one, for the time that I worked there.  Some were short stints.  A summer working at the large animal hospital of Purdue University, for example.  No, I was not a vet student (as most of the other employees), I just like animals and thought it would be a fun and different summer job.  I shoveled out horse and cow stalls every Saturday morning!  While it wasn't glamorous by any stretch, I actually did enjoy it.  I enjoyed the physical labor.  I enjoyed being around the animals (I'm used to cats and dogs, not horses and cows, so that was new for me).  I even learned how to operate a fork lift in that job.  A skill I haven't had to call upon again since then, but I believe it's always good to learn something new. 

With each of my jobs, when it came to the point that I no longer enjoyed doing it, I found something else.  I moved on.  Some people have shouted at me over the years (not literally) that I can't keep job hopping like that, sooner or later no one will hire me.  But that never happened.  I'm a good worker.  I'm honest, smart, and learn quickly.  And most importantly, I  believe that I will always get the right job at the right time.  Our thoughts are key in everything.  What you truly believe will come to fruition.  It's certainly been the case for me. 

Are you happy with your relationships? 

If not, make a change! 

You don't need to feel obligated to keep someone in your life if they are literally draining the spirit right out of you.  Granted, some people in our lives we may not be crazy about, and it would be very difficult to never see again (like certain family members).  But, you do have control over how much time you spend with people and what you do. 

Is there a big get-together or party coming up that you don't particularly want to go to and aren't a big fan of many people who will likely be there?  Don't go!  That's right.  It's YOUR life!  Do what makes YOU happy and what you'll feel good about.

For me this is a certain New Year's Eve party.  Friends of my boyfriend are hosting their annual New Year's Eve bash.  My bf and I attended last year, and it was pretty fun.  But this year I just don't want to go to it again.  We went last year, which quite frankly doesn't feel that long ago.  I know the people hosting it and a couple other attendees, but the majority of the people I don't know.  While that's perfectly fine, this year I'm just not in the mood to spend hours with strangers and a few people who also may be there who I do know and don't really want to spend time with.   So I'm not going.  My boyfriend, on the other hand, told me that he still would like to go.  They are good friends of his and he said he at least "wanted to make an appearance."

I'll be honest.  It stung when, knowing that I didn't want to go, he still would go without me, on  New Year's Eve no less.  But I've made my peace with that. We can't control what anyone else does but ourselves.  This is part of the "becoming more me" that I was referring to.  I'm standing more in my truth.  I'm speaking up for myself more often.  I'm doing things that feel good and right for me, and choosing to abstain from things that I don't have a good feeling about.  Others can like it or not, but that's me.  And I'm happy with my choices!

We are the only ones who have to live with our choices, after all! 
And at the end of your life, at the end of the year, at the end of the day, you want to feel good about the choices you made. 

Don't live your life for someone else. 
Don't be who you think others want or expect you to be. 
Be you! 
Each day get closer to the you that Spirit intended. 
Each day, with each choice, be more who YOU want to be! 

I'll wrap this post up with another little thing I've done in the recent years that has helped me stay true to myself. 

When I'm faced with a decision, or in a situation where I don't know what to do or how to act or respond, I ask myself, "Who do I want to be?" 

As in, do I want to be the type of person who gets angry about _____ (fill in the blank)? 
Do I want to be a person who is jealous? 
Do I want to be a person who is afraid to do something I think sounds fun for fear of what others will think? 
Do I want to be a person who is confident?
Do I want to be a person who has integrity? 
Do I want to be a person who is loving and kind? 

When I remember to ask myself this type of question (Do I want to be a person who ____), it helps me make the best choice for me every time.  It helps me show myself who I want to be.  And then I can move closer to becoming that person each day, with each choice. 

Quotes of the Day:

"There is only one success... to be able to spend your life in your own way."  (Christopher Morley)

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."  (Epictetus, Greek philosopher)


  1. Great post Sarah. I am at a crossroads with what to do with my life now. I quit my job after working in the school district for seven years, and now I feel scared, a bit excited, and am doubting (a little bit) the decision I made, with its job security and nice paycheck. I have a vision for what I want to do next... But I am having a hard time trusting. I am also 35 and also feel like I am a bit too old to be starting over. I am just venting right now. Thank you for your post, and thank you for reading!! :)

  2. Marielle,
    Thank you for the comment! I want to tell you, you will be fine! Take it from someone who's been there, multiple times. The fact that you had the courage to leave a job that you knew wasn't the best place for you is awesome! So many people lack that courage. So I commend you on quitting your job! :) It's truly the FIRST step in doing what you REALLY want to do!

    I'm so excited for you!! Yes, it IS scary to give up the steady paycheck and benefits. But I have no doubt you'll be happier living life YOUR way instead of answering to someone else's rules, procedures, and timelines. Schools can be a wonderful place to work, but they can also be one of the most rigid.

    That's great that you have a vision for your life! I quit jobs with NO vision. I just knew that I didn't want to do what I was doing. A change had to be made. I figured it out as I went. I fully believe you can't REALLY know what you want to do or if you'll like something until you give it a shot. Try it. If it doesn't work out, so what. At least you'll know and at least you tried. If it does work out, then you'll be so glad you took the leap!

    One last thing - 35 is NOT too old to be starting over!! Lots of people start new careers well into their 40s and 50s! Suze Orman for one (she just talked about this on a recent show) was a waitress making $400 a MONTH until she was 30! Then she made a change. She didn't write her first book until she was 45 though! Now she's 61 and beyond wealthy!

    Have fun and enjoy your new path! :)

    "Yes I'll fall before I fly, but no one can say I never tried."