As I drove home from my post-Christmas family holiday, I listened to Wayne Dyer's "Being in Balance" audio book. This is the umpteenth time I've listened to it, but it had been several months since the last time. As I knew I would be (with any of Dyer's works), I was reminded of some very helpful tips in living my best life and being me.
Chapter four is about addictions. This chapter is one I find most helpful. Not because I suffer from addictions to drugs or alcohol. Those are the classic addictions people, including me, think of when they hear the word "addiction." I'm addicted to distrust.
Most notably this has shown up in the form of jealousy for me. And even more specifically, a dislike towards my boyfriend's ex-wife. I have talked about situations I've been in around her and how I struggled, in previous blog posts. I know this is my own issue. She has done nothing to me. She has done nothing, since I've been with my boyfriend, to lead me to believe she was "out to get me" in any way. It's all in my head. I create these unstable, distrustful situations in my mind. This is my addiction.
A concept from "Being in Balance" that struck me most profoundly upon my recent listening was "force, counterforce." Dyer advocates to not fight your addictions. Surrender. Let it be. His reason? Behind every force there is a counterforce. When you push against something, it tends to push back. Fighting begets fighting. Struggle begets struggle.
It's best to just let it be.
Let it be what it is. Let it be "over there." Focus on what you do want and more of that will appear in your life.
We humans tend to spend so much time, energy, and thought directed towards what we don't want, it's no wonder we have so much of it. I'm sure manifesting and the concept that our thoughts create our reality isn't new to most of you. Yet for some reason when it comes to my addiction of distrust, my desire to think good thoughts and manifest what I want goes right out the window. It's like a compulsion - distrust. I know it stems back to my early years. I've pinpointed that a long time ago. I can't change the past, but I can change how I move forward. I can change how I let the past affect me. I can control my thoughts. I can, I can, I can. (That's me reminding myself that yes, in fact, I do control all those distrustful thoughts and images I have in my brain.)
"Ever hear of a robin in therapy trying to overcome his desire to eat butterflies?" (Dyer, "Being in Balance"). Why don't birds chase butterflies? They're poisonous. Birds don't chase after something that they don't want and is harmful to them. Humans do that. That's how it is with addictions, or any less-than-positive thought. We chase after it, causing more harm to ourselves.
Why not take our own power back? Commit to not chasing after what we don't want? Let it be.
And meanwhile, focus instead on what we do want and be happier for it!
"The more I pursued my life in the balance point for what felt right for me, the more practice I gained and the more the Universe and I were aligned. In alignment, you attract opportunities for you." (Dyer, "Being in Balance").
This is my goal. I put the above quote up in my bathroom to remind myself every day to pursue balance in my life. Stop chasing after things that cause me stress. Pursue what I do want. And in so doing, recognizing and accepting that the Universe and I will be more aligned. Therefore, more of those positive, spirit-affirming opportunities will be drawn to me.
Each day, each moment is an opportunity for us to choose balance. Choose what will make our heart and our spirit happy. Forget what other people want you to do. Ignore other people's expectations of you. What do you want? What will make you happy? Do that!
Our spirit never guides us in the wrong direction. If you feel you need to do something, do it! Who cares how it'll look to others? Who cares what they'll think? Be true to you.
Back to addictions. We all have them. In some form, fashion, or intensity. Let them be. Accept that part of you. Love that part of you. And let it be. When you feel compelled to chase after an addiction, remind yourself that that is not in your best interest. That is not your spirit guiding you. Stop. Listen. Focus on your own inner balance. And start again.
Quotes of the Day:
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” (Santosh Kalwar)
"The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it." (Anonymous)
"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." (Dalai Lama)