Saturday, December 8, 2012

You're Happy When YOU Decide to Be!

You may have heard this before, but I can attest to its truth.  You truly are in control of your feelings. 

By simply changing your thoughts, you can change your mood

It may take some time.  Depending on how entrenched in your current mood you are; you may have to think happy thoughts over and over for several minutes before you notice a change, but I assure you, you WILL notice a change.  Your mood will shift.  You'll start to feel more loving and less angry, hateful, upset. 

Let me share an example where I noticed this phenomenon most strongly in my own life and how I know it works.  I was at a destination wedding in Colorado.  It was for my boyfriend's best friend, so we went (we live in Indiana).  My boyfriend has been married before, and his ex-wife is also a very close friend of the groom.  So I knew she would be there.  I had met her a few times before, at group get-togethers, and she'd been nice, but it's still an awkward situation.  I was not looking forward to further interaction with her.  So much so, in fact, that I nearly didn't go to the wedding, and my boyfriend and I almost broke up over the whole thing.  Yes, my feelings towards this woman are that strong.  Granted, it's probably mostly my own insecurities regarding exes and relationships, but that's another blog for another day.   

During the reception is where the event occurred that inspired this blog. 

It was an intimate dinner at a small restaurant in town.  The entire group only took up 3 long tables.  One for the wedding party.  And two for guests.  Of course my boyfriend and I ended up at the same table as his ex, though at least at the opposite end.  But here's where it got more than I thought I could handle.  After the main course was finished, people were milling about, swapping seats to talk to other people.  Somehow people had gotten up, gone to the bathroom, returned to other seats, and when the ex-wife returned, there was only ONE seat remaining.  Next to my boyfriend and me. 

I literally felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin.  Like I was going to have a break down right there, have to run out of the room and never return.  Tears were just below the surface and it was everything I could do to keep them at bay.  I was drinking my water, taking deep breaths.  My heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I was not happy.  Then I remembered the audio book by Wayne Dyer I had been listening to on this trip (to help prepare myself for this type of unwanted interaction).  I'm sorry, I don't remember the book title right now, but all of his books are awesome and I've found immense help in every one! 

In my head I start repeating the words, "There is nothing to be upset about.  There is nothing to be upset about."  Over and over and over and over.  I didn't let myself think any other thoughts because I knew doing so would most assuredly result in tears, which I did not want. 

I focused on my breathing and the words, "There is nothing to be upset about." 

And you know what?  It worked! 

After probably a full minute (maybe longer) of repeating only those words, I DID start to feel better. 

My heart rate calmed.  My breathing evened out.  I was even able to converse with her for the next thirty minutes or so that she sat there.  Now, was I still happy to be out of there?  Oh yes!  But by repeating the words that I wanted to be true (and that were actually true), it had a definite impact on my emotions and mental state.  I went from the verge of tears and a total breakdown to calmly having a not-unpleasant conversation with this person. 

Thoughts have energy.  If you just imagine something negative, such as a fight or argument, real or imaginary, you'll find that your heart rate will increase, your blood pressure will rise.  You'll feel it in your bones and muscles, as if it's actually happening.  The same is true with thinking happy, loving thoughts.  That's why and how we are all in complete control of our feelings at any given time.  I'm not saying some situations don't warrant an angry, upset response.  But it's good to at least be in charge of your response and not overwhelmed by it. 

I want to share something else that has had a profound impact on me.  I saw this, I believe, on some type of Oprah show.  They had pictures of water crystals and under each picture were the thoughts that were directed toward the water.  The water that had loving, happy thoughts directed toward it was clear and "happy" looking.  Perfectly formed crystals.  Beautiful.  But the water that had hateful, angry thoughts directed was actually yellowish or brownish in color, and looked distorted.  The crystals were not hardly formed at all.  They looked poisoned, and in fact they were, by the thoughts.  It was incredible that it was still the same water.  Check it out here:   It's called Emoto's Water Experiment if you want to look it up yourself too.

After I saw those pictures, I was forever changed how I thought about myself and others.  As our bodies are mostly water, our thoughts affect not just our feelings, but the actual composition of our bodies.

So now the two biggest affirmations I say to myself on a regular basis are "Thank you" and "I love you."  I find these two simple statements, when said with truth and love, to have the power to change me in an instant.  If I'm stressed about being behind a super slow driver, for example, I say, "Thank you" to the Universe and it eases my tension.  Sometimes I have to say it over and over, like I did at the wedding reception.  :) 

Lastly, I'd like to say "Thank you" to everyone who will read this blog, and "I love you." 

Quote of the Day:

"There is always something to be happy about.  Truly happy.  And if you have the audacity to find it and the courage to make it your focus, in spite of the countless temptations to do otherwise, you will have learned well.  Your life will be transformed and all things will be added to you."
(modified from, Notes from the Universe) 

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